I’m a Pastor Addicted to Porn and Masturbation…

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My schedule does not permit me to answer as many questions as I’d like to on this blog, but every so often, I get a post that tears at my heart, and I have to stop everything to respond to it. The following was one such post that came in on the “Ask Dr. Intimacy” page. Below is the post and then beneath that, my response. I hope it helps someone…

Dr. Intimacy,

Thank you for your obedience to God and your willingness to make your personal matters public so awareness and deliverance can take place in the life of others. I have read most of the articles you have posted and I also have purchased your book “Sexually Transmitted Demons.” My question for you is how to do I experience real deliverance from the sexual perversion in my life. I can stop masturbating for a couple of days but the urges are so strong that no matter what I do it is hard for me to resist. I watch porn and masturbate at least 4 to 5 times a day and I try to stop. I try to find other things to do but it’s like I cannot have any peace unless I watch porn and masturbate then I am good. I believe, well I know, this has cost me my pastorate and it almost cost me my marriage. About 3 years ago I resigned as pastor and nobody knew why. I was so ashamed that I even left my wife and my children for a year. My wife was a virgin when we got married and I think I have transferred this spirit to her. I asked her to watch porn with me. I asked her to have phone sex with me when I traveled. I baited her into conversations about threesomes and eventually we had one and now I think she struggles with a lesbian spirit because she always wants to have a threesome with a woman. And during sex she only has an orgasm when she calls out a female name or she will have me call out another female’s name we may know. I can see her as we have sex fantasizing about another person as she climax. We have had a threesome with a close friend of ours and she always initiates it. This spirit has overtaken my marriage and I have tried with everything in me to reel it back in and whatever I do fails. It seems like the harder I try the worst it gets. I had a growing church and helped a lot of people walk through the difficult stages of their life but I am living with this dark secret and I could not in good conscious pastor and know I was struggling with sexual perversion so I resigned. I am trying everything to stop with no success. I have read books, blogs. I have prayed and confessed. I tried playing sermons and worship music when the urges come. I have watched your youtube channel and if I may be honest I find myself lusting after you. I think to myself why am I like this? I do not want to be this way. I can help everyone else and help fix everybody else’s problems but when it comes to me I can’t experience the deliverance I preach and minister to others. I know Christ. I know the power of the Holy Spirit. I do not drink or do drugs. I am a person of integrity and influence within my community but I can’t shake this. I said this the thorn in my side but I can’t imagine God allowing this struggle that has the potential to affect and destroy so many be allowed in my life. I take my ministry seriously and the souls He has for me to care after. I would rather die than to not be able to serve God so this is literally killing me.  Thank you for any help or insight you may offer.

CJ 

Dear PASTOR CJ, 

I put emphasis on “Pastor” because the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable until we die! Your letter really tore at my heart. You and your wife are, indeed, in a great deal of bondage and I will not pretend to make light of it. As I sat here praying about your situation and seeking a Word that could start you on the road to recovery, The Holy Spirit whispered this phrase into my ear,

 “Let guilt give way to conviction…”

That phrase illuminated my soul and I felt an immediate release as I received it. You see, that phrase concisely explains the process that I went through when getting delivered from sexual lust and masturbation, during my walk, as a Leader to The Body.

It is the worst kind of pain, when it’s the pain of self-condemnation, and that is what masturbation and porn produce. You are in the most addictive of situations because the very thing that makes you want to stop, also drives you to do it more! That thing is GUILT. Guilt is the emotion that produces remorse, which causes us to change our ways. But in the case of masturbation and porn, guilt only feeds the spirit. Guilt and self-condemnation empower the forces of masturbation and porn, making you want to do it more and more. This is because masturbation and porn are methods of escape – escape from chaos, failure, stress, sickness, disappointment, anger, GUILT… The same negative circumstances that drive any addiction, drive masturbation and porn addictions as well.

The cycle of guilt and release — condemnation and comfort – causes you to feel so hopelessly trapped. It seems to stop is as equally tormenting as it is to continue, but at least in continuing there is “some relief”. This is how it seems anyway, and I know this is hitting home! But the truth is that the pain of continuing is PERMANENT, while the pain of stopping is only temporary. That is a truth that you must CONSTANTLY KEEP BEFORE YOU. You should write that phrase on papers and post them on every wall, window, door and mirror in your home. And post it in your car and office too! You shall know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH shall make you FREE.

You have fallen into a cycle of believing lies, and the worse of those lies is that feeling guilty and self-condemned somehow serves as an act of humility and repentance that will lead to righteousness. Guilt will, to the contrary, UNCONDITIONALLY GUARANTEE that you stay addicted until you breathe your last breath. Guilt is the very opposite of faith, and doubt is the very worst kind of perversion. That is why Messiah says in Matthew 17:17, “O faithless and PERVERSE generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you?…” Doubt and unbelief opens the door for the strongest sexual addictions because doubt is, in and of itself, a strong form of perversion. And what good is our faith, if not for believing that we are JUSTIFIED – no matter what? “For the just shall live by faith…” Is that not what the Word has taught us my dear Brother?

So step one is to demand your soul to receive the TRUTH, the truth that you are justified not by your acts, but instead by your faith in The Risen Savior. Step two is to use that truth to bring subject every false spirit of self-condemnation and guilt that is fostering this addiction. If you are already justified, then there is nothing to feel guilty about. Which means going forward, you will not allow yourself to feel guilty when you watch porn or masturbate or have a threesome or…

WAIT! Am I saying to continue in these things? NO! I am saying that you should live in the freedom of grace and not the imprisonment of condemnation. The stress produced by guilt prevents understanding from coming forth. Therefore, by giving way to guilt, you suppress the wisdom that would yield deliverance. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin, He does not condemn us for it. With conviction comes forgiveness, cleansing andmost importantly, redirection. With guilt comes chains. Once you stop opening yourself up to the enemy’s guilt, you make room for the The Spirit’s conviction.

So my dear brother, make the very best choices that you have the strength to make each day. Plan a day of righteousness and productivity. Don’t plan sinful activities, but if in the midst of trying to live your day for God you fall, don’t let guilt come into your heart. Let guilt give way to conviction.

If you feel overwhelmed, to the extent of insanity, for the desire for porn or masturbation, know that in your flesh, it is a battle that you will never win.  Therefore, give yourself PERMISSION to live in the freedom of grace. Explore how you feel “led” at any given time. Does that mean that you are being “led” correctly? Not necessarily — sometimes demons are in the lead, sometimes the flesh is in the lead and sometimes The Holy Spirit is in the lead… But how will you know what is really in your heart, if you don’t allow it to come to the surface and allow The Spirit of the Living God to expose the dark things of your heart and wash them away. Therefore, live in the NOW of eternity, and Let guilt give way to conviction.

Calmly ask for and receive forgiveness for your short comings, and sit and talk to The Father about these things. You see, if you pray in faith for a desire for righteousness and then just believe for God to answer that prayer, you have to rest in that belief. You can’t fight to live right because then it is by works and by might. Instead, if you evaluate what you desire to do, at all times – without being anxious about if it’s right or wrong — and yet acknowledge God in all of your ways (this is key), it is then that the power of conviction begins to work. Suddenly, you become aware of how wicked your desires are. You will see firsthand how far away you are from righteousness, not just in your acts, but in your very essence. You will then LOSE the desire for what you once thought you could not live without, when you let guilt give way to conviction.

And that Pastor, is what it is really all about. It is not about stopping an act in the flesh, but being transformed at a heart level. Better for a wicked desire to be transformed into a righteous one, than to simply “overcome” and “bury” that desire. What good is using will power to overcome just the act, when your heart is still just as filthy as it always was? So when you become aware and begin to lose the desire, that is when discipline can push you to your goal – when you actually WANT to stop, as opposed to “knowing that you should, but not really wanting to”. Then, that is when you will effectively remind yourself — not out of guilt, but out of your desire to please The Father — that the pain of continuing is PERMANENT, while the pain of stopping is only temporary...

When you finally let guilt give way to conviction.”

And that is the Word of The LORD!

In the Power of His Love,

Prophetess Laneen “Dr. Intimacy” Haniah

Be blessed and be sure to order both of my books. You and your wife read them together. It will help you tremendously, but especially “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book.” You can order them on my website, www.drintimacy.com

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Worship from a Holistic Perspective

Crushing the bonds of sexual perversion and healing the bonds of heart-2-heart love & intimacy.

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2014 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Intimate Wealth

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INTIMATE WEALTH
How your relationship with money impacts your life!
Date:03-29-2017
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: Kevin L Jefferson
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

Yes, the love of money is the root of all evil, but the lack of it is the root of all misery. The Bible clearly states, “Money answers all things”. Does that mean if you don’t have money, you don’t have adequate answers to life’s problems? Yes! Money will have a profound impact on every area of your life. More marriages end over money problems than adultery. People commit suicide and murder over money issues. MONEY MATTERS and your relationship with money will impact all other relationships in your life! Personal Wealth Coach Kevin Jefferson will join Dr. Intimacy for this Naked Discussion on Intimate Wealth, on the next Inspired Intimacy, #NoSocks.

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

Toxic Relationships

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TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
How to keep poison people out of your life!
Date:03-22-2017
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: Israel Robert Burale
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

In a special presentation, Dr. Intimacy teams up with the international sensation Robert Burale, to discuss toxic relationships. Founder of the Naked Truth movement in Kenya Africa, Robert is sure to bring the fire to Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio this week. Don’t miss this Naked Discussion on how to keep poison people out of your life, with Mr. Burale and Internationally known Author, Speaker and Personal Insights Specialists, Dr. Intimacy. It’s gonna be #NoSocks.

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

The Confident & Sexy Female

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Are men more attracted to confident women?
Date:03-01-2017
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: Noel Daniels
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

What makes a woman attractive? Is it how she looks or how she feels? There is a difference between attractiveness and beauty. It is a fact that some women have features that are more visually appealing than others, but attraction means that you have a drawing effect on people. Outer beauty is not the final determining factor in whether or not a man finds a woman attractive. Most men will agree that a confident woman is a sexy woman. So how do you develop that self-confidence that will make you attractive to people no matter what you look like on the outside? Join our Naked Discussion on the next Inspired Intimacy, #NoSocks!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

Stop Attracting The Wrong Ones

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Stop Attracting the Wrong Ones
What your relationships reveal about the real you!
Date:02-08-2017
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: Sharon Sudds
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

Do you think you know who you really are? Do you see yourself as a valuable asset in relationships? If so, why is it that you keep attracting the wrong people? Going to the wrong churches? Ending up on the wrong jobs? If you’re not getting the results that you want out of your relationships, you may need to do some self-evaluation! On the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy, Dr. Intimacy and guest Sharon Sudds, will uncover how to stop attracting what you don’t want. Step into the room #NoSocks, and join our Naked Discussion, on what your relationships reveal about who you really are, and how to attract who you really want in your life!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

From Victim to Victor

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From Victim to Victor
When the mighty fall and the fallen rise!
Date: 02-01-17
Time: 9pm-11pm cst
Listen: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: Anthony Boyd
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

After years of trying to find his way back, former private security guard for the late Bishop Eddie Long, Anthony Boyd, is ready to break his silence and share his experiences. What was it really like serving alongside Eddie Long? How did the public scrutiny impact him personally? In the aftermath of Eddie Long’s death, what is Anthony’s next move and his plans to help others find the right path for their lives? From victim to victor — the fallen rise even after the mighty fall! Step into the room #NoSocks, on the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy, and join our Naked Discussion, on how to recover when you’ve been misled by leadership!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm cst, with Creator and Host #DrIntimacy & Co-Producer #JRevival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website or SoundCloud.

Grace vs Truth pt. 2

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GRACE vs. TRUTH pt. 2
When Pastors become Predators
Date: 01-25-17
Time: 9pm-11pm cst
Listen: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: George E. Baker III
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

Last week’s show was epic, as we addressed sexual perversion in the church, referencing #KimBurrell and Eddie Long. Since the show, one of the firsthand victims of the #EddieLongScandalhas reached out to #DrIntimacy and told his story. On part 2 of this topic, the focus will shift from the grace that should be extended when we don’t know the truth about what happened, to how you handle it when accusations are confirmed! There was too much to say and not enough time, so step into the room again #NoSocks, on the next broadcast of #InspiredIntimacy, and join part 2 of this very #NakedDiscussion, on what to do When Pastors Become Predators!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm cst, with Creator and Host #DrIntimacy & Co-Producer #JRevival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

Grace vs Truth

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Grace vs Truth (Eddie Long & Kim Burrell)
Date:01-18-2017
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: George E. Baker III
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

Just weeks after Kim Burrell’s fiery sermon on homosexuality, the very man she called out, Eddie Long, has died. Kim has faced severe backlash in and out of the church, but Long was no stranger to criticism himself, being accused of coerced sex with teenage boys from his church, back in 2010. Perversion in the church is no secret, but these events has made it all too evident that we don’t agree on how to handle it. Do we forgive and forget, or warn and condemn? Is it grace or truth? On the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy, step into the room #NoSocks, and join this very Naked Discussion on addressing sexual perversion in the church!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

#KimBurrell #EddieLong #NoSocks #InspiredIntimacy #DrIntimacy

Am I Worth the Wait?

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Am I Worth the Wait?
Date:01-11-2017
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: Nosajie Nomar
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

What do you do when you think you’ve found the perfect mate, but they don’t want to wait for sex? In the 21st century is it realistic to think that you can date without sex? Do people really practice abstinence until marriage? Do church-goers practice what they preach? What if you’re waiting faithfully, only to find out your significant other is getting serviced elsewhere? Dr. Intimacy and the Porter Twins, Models, Actors & Ministers, will discuss 17 years of celibacy and how it has been the deal breaker in relationships! On the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy, join the Naked Discussion!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy…#NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

Defining a “Real Man”

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“WHY DO WOMEN THINK THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO SAY WHAT ‘A REAL MAN’ IS? They [women] may know what they would like in a man, but they can’t define manhood any more than a man can define womanhood.” ~ Jay Caldwell~

So this was posted on a friend’s FB page. Although I see his point, at the end of the day it’s MY PERCEPTION of manhood that is going to determine whether or not I can accept the man that wants to pursue me or that I’m in a relationship with. What a “real man” is, is very subjective — subject to each person’s opinion and experiences. If I don’t perceive a man to be a “real man” then I won’t be able to honor, respect or submit to him. So ultimately, even as a woman, I have to be able to define what a “real man” is to me, in order to have a healthy and thriving relationship.

As a matter of fact, I did an entire show on what makes a man a “real man”. (Listen to is here https://soundcloud.com/inspiredintimacytalkradio/what-makes-a-boy-a-man). In actuality, the term “real man” is the first problem, which is why I keep putting it in quotes. If you ask the wrong question, you are bound to get the wrong answer. It’s not a matter of “real”, it’s a matter of “mature”. A “real man” is born a male, with the XY chromosome distinction and has passed puberty. Nothing less or nothing more defines what a “real man” is. The proper question is – How do you define maturity in a man? Or in other words, when does a “real man” become a “mature man”?

I think that is one of the reasons that relationships are so messed up. We don’t communicate effectively. One of my missions is to expose myths, lies and deceptions. These are terms and ideologies that we’ve accepted that we don’t realize are hindering true understanding and elevation in relationships. If I can debunk the “real man” myth, then we can have some effective communication about what we really need to understand, which is that men… and women… need to mature into their roles in society, in relationships, in family, etc. 

What are your thoughts on this?

#DrIntimacy (c) 2017

http://www.InspiredIntimacy.com

New Year – Same Old Ish…

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New Year – Same Old Ish…
Not just another resolution, but a revelation of HOW!
Date:01-04-2017
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Special Guest: Sylvia StJohn Martinez
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

The ringing in of a new year tends to come with excitement and hope for a change in our circumstances. But a new year doesn’t guarantee a new season, and the hope of change at the beginning of the year often disappoints. Before we make it through January, our resolutions fail and we realize it’s the same old ish! Dr. Intimacy and the powerful Sammi G., owner of FBRN and 30+ year radio vet, will discuss why we often don’t get the change we desire and how to get different results in 2017! On the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy, step into the room #NoSocks and join the Naked Discussion!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

How Did I End Up Here?

How Did I End Up Here?
Date: 12-28-16
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

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Like most people, you’re probably evaluating your life as the year comes to a close. And you’re not alone if you find yourself asking, “How did I end up here?” Maybe “here” represents a dead-end relationship you’re stuck in; a stressful job that you hate; a health crisis that could’ve been avoided; a body image that causes insecurity; an addiction that you need to break; living arrangements that are making you unhappy; a family crisis; or debt and lack that you just cannot believe you are still dealing with at your age. No matter what “here” means to you, it’s time to ditch your current situation for the one you really want! Find out how on the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy. Step into the room #NoSocks and join the Naked Discussion, with Dr. Intimacy, and special guest Wanda L. Scott!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio — Naked Discussions About Love, Life & Intimacy… #NoSocks — is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries. Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player. www.InspiredIntimacy.com

The Language of Intimacy

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The Language of Intimacy
Date: 12-21-16
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen in at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Call-in: (214) 431-5062

People often think of intimacy and sex as being interchangeable words. So, it’s no surprise that when we think of intimate language, we may think of only “bedroom talk”. In actuality, right words can penetrate more deeply than any sex act. Words can be more stimulating than any type of physical foreplay. Words have the power to connect people on levels of intimacy that far surpass mere intercourse or sexuality. Right words can create an attraction where there was none, and wrong words can destroy even the most beautiful of romances. Learn the language of intimacy, on the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy. Step into the room #NoSocks and join our Naked Discussion, with Host Dr. Intimacy and special guest, George Baker, III!How Did I “Become” Dr. Intimacy?

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio is LIVE on FBRN every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival. Listen on mobile or online and CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment!

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries! Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player! www.InspiredIntimacy.com

When Politics TRUMP Your Relationship

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When Politics TRUMP Your Relationship!
Date: 11-16-16
Time: 9pm-11pm CST
Listen in at: www.InspiredIntimacy.com
Call in number: 214-431-5062

During the last presidential election, our country was divided. But politics not only divided our country, they divided households, friendships and even some couples! Why do some people take their political views so seriously? Is it possible to have a healthy relationship while standing on opposing sides of the political ring? We’ve tried as a nation, unsuccessfully, to “separate church from state”. Will we fail at separating love from politics as well? This, and so much more, on the next broadcast of Inspired Intimacy. Step into the room #NoSocks and join our Naked Discussion with Host Dr. Intimacy and special guest, TK of 1Kingdom Radio!

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio is LIVE on the air every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy & Co-Producer J. Revival.

CALL IN LIVE to ask a question or make a comment
By PHONE: 214-431-5062.
By SKYPE: add ‘fishbowlreadionetwork2’

If you already MISSED THE SHOW no worries! Check out all the archives on our website and SoundCloud player! www.InspiredIntimacy.com