It was just another night in the life of a broken woman – a night that had ended like many others before it. I was on the bed with my face in my pillow sobbing, soiled with the stains of sin’s residue. The events that led up to this night had begun six months prior when the assistant pastor of my church asked me for my phone number. He said that he was going to give it to his wife because he saw that I really needed some help. I had been out of church for quite some time. The filth of my spirit was way beyond obvious. I was annoyed with his request. I didn’t want help. I was bitter and not interested in being better. His persistence won out though and I finally gave him the number.
Unfortunately, his wife never saw that number. That very same day he called me six times. And he called me every day thereafter – at my house, on my cell phone, at my job – he wouldn’t stop calling me. I really felt that he was a dork at first. I used to do mean things like leave him on hold for 10 minutes just for the fun of it. He would actually wait too. He was really strung out on me and I was disgusted by it, but I found it amusing. I was too deep in sin to realize how evil it was for me to entertain this man’s pursuits of me. What he was up to was apparent to me. He wasn’t the first “man of the cloth” to run after me. These things never ended well, but I was cocky. I thought I could handle it this time.
In the mean time God began to soften and heal my calloused heart. He was restoring me from my backslidden state. Before long I found myself completely detached from the friends and life of sin that had become familiar to me. Suddenly, this dorky pastor was my only friend. Things took an unexpected turn. I began to look forward to his phone calls. I was feeling uncomfortable with the relationship because I was really growing spiritually and I did not want to mess up again. I always did just fine as a Christian until it came to the dreaded ‘S’ word. Yeah, that three-letter expletive ‘sex’.
I decided that I did not want to speak to him anymore, but he insisted that we were just friends. He said to me, “Preachers need friends too.” Soon, phone calls turned into visits and visits turned into a full-fledged obsession. I knew this couldn’t end well. I asked The Lord to intervene. I didn’t know what else to do. I begged “my friend” to please stay away from me before “something bad happened”. But he didn’t listen. He would come to my home and literally cry tears when I refused to let him in. Did I mention that he was married? To a beautiful and anointed sister at the church who happened to be pregnant at the time? It was really a bad situation.
After much begging and pleading with God that He would make this man stop coming to my house, after tearfully praying that He would not let me fall into sexual sin again – it seemed that my prayers had fallen on deaf ears. After six months of a purely “innocent friendship” there I was on my bed crying. The ‘S’ word had happened. He had to go home to his wife, and I was left to deal with the shame and consequent self-hatred. We continued to be together for a time longer and I thought that I would never be restored after this incident. I was just about to walk away from the faith again when my Heavenly Father stopped me.
God delivered me out of that relationship and set me on my destined course to set satan’s captives free. From that time on the Lord began to teach me all about sexual perversion and the spirits that oppress people influencing them commit such acts. It was a painful situation but it was purposeful. I am thankful and that is why I am writing this blog. I want to help people who are struggling with sexual sin. I want to teach you what I have learned about true deliverance and authentic intimacy. Together we will take back what the enemy has stolen and learn how to Love Free!
In the Power of Love,
Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body
Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.