Love and Gratefulness…

Love and gratefulness, love and gratefulness, love and gratefulness… This is the energy that is around me. The Father told me that I would have the best year ever in my life if I just focused on love and gratefulness> I am obeying His instructions and I am experiencing so much peace and increase. You ought to try it, it works!


~Insights from Dr. Intimacy~ © 01/29/2013


An Embarrassing Little Secret or Monumental Mistake?

embarrassed-facial-expression-3_mediumI can remember the most embarrassing moment of my life that occurred back in junior high school. I was 14 years old, but I looked like I was about nine. I was sickly and a late bloomer. I had a huge crush on one of the neighborhood boys, but he seemed to be quite taken with big breasts. I unfortunately had the chest of a little boy. I thought I would fix that problem by stuffing my bra. After all, every under-developed, late bloomer does it. Doesn’t she?

 I did a great job. I was always very artistic so I even managed to create nipples (laugh). The only problem was that I knew if my mom ever saw my tissue breast implants, she definitely would have made me undo all of my hard work. Therefore, I would have to “de-breast” myself every time I went in the house and then “re-breast” myself whenever I left. On a particular evening, I asked my Mom if I could go back outside after dinner. She informed me that I only had 15 minutes. I wanted to be around my crush as often as possible, so I frantically re-stuffed my bra and ran outside, knowing that I had precious little time to continue my work on winning his affections.

 There was a group of us that hung out together. I was the outcast. As a matter of fact I wasn’t even an invited member of the crew. I was more like a stray dog that they just could not get rid of.  At any rate, I hunted them down that night after dinner and stood amongst the group. I was probably a good 8 to 12 inches shorter than everyone else, but I tried to be big in personality to make up for it. I was talking loudly, trying to entertain everyone as usual, and thenthen… it happened… My crush, “the love of my life” looked down at me, pointed his finger at my chest, busted out with laughter and shouted as loudly as he could, “Ilk, Laneen has tissue in her bra!” If there were ever a time that I wished I had magic powers, that was it!

For me, my bra-stuffing was just an embarrassing little secret, but at the moment of its revealing, I realized that it was really a monumental mistake – a monumental mistake that stemmed from much deeper issues than just that of being flat-chested. I use this illustration to correlate to a common “embarrassing little secret” that many Christian women keep. It’s that dirty ol’ word called masturbation.  After all, every under-sexed, unsatisfied, lonely, stressed out woman does it. Doesn’t she?

Well, I don’t know about every woman, but statistical studies amongst Christian women suggest that about 60% admit to masturbating. My own experience as Dr. Intimacy leads me to believe that number is much higher. But masturbation, although done in secrecy most times, is much more than an embarrassing little secret. It is a monumental mistake that stems from much deeper issues than simply that of needing a little sexual release from time to time.

If your high-school was anything like mine, you were taught in health-ed class that masturbation is “natural” and “healthy”. I myself began performing it at the age of five. I have had clients share with me stories of starting as early as age two. Yet contrary to popular opinion in our sex-crazed, disease-ridden society, masturbation is not a safe and healthy alternative to promiscuous sexual relationships. That embarrassing little secret is a cover up for much deeper issues such as feelings of depression, loneliness,  inadequacy, rejection, stress, low self-esteem, lack of acceptance and more. Such issues if not properly addressed can lead to health problems, poor social skills, failures in life, many failed relationships, weight control problems and even death or suicide.

 Another common misconception is that masturbation can be used as a therapeutic substitute for unfulfilling marital sex in order to stave off infidelity. The practice of masturbation trains your body to climax in response to your own touch. This makes it difficult, if not impossible for your husband to ever bring you to climax without the aid of your own hand. Consequently, that unfulfilling marital sex is likely to get worse.

For men, even married men, sex is a conquest. If a man becomes dejected in his efforts to sexually please his wife, he is likely to respond by discontinuing sex with his wife and turning to pornography, masturbation and/or adultery. He may turn to these things and continue to have sex with his wife but with complete emotional detachment, as he fondly reminisces on his favorite past sexual conquest or porn scene. Such lack of intimacy will break down communication in the marriage.  Some women in these situations feel as if they are being raped during sex with their husbands. And if you think that this terrible state of affairs in a marriage won’t possibly lead to adultery on the wife’s end too, you obviously have not been paying attention to infidelity statistics lately.

Masturbation only medicates your issues, just like any other drug. When you masturbate to cover up your issues, you are just as bound as a drug addict or alcoholic. Masturbation is highly addictive and I can even remember reading an article that stated an orgasm causes a chemical reaction in the brain that is similar to that which occurs during drug highs. The real frustration trap of masturbation is that it essentially increases the issues that initially triggered the act in the first place. Since for most women sex is more about the emotional connection than the actual physical mechanics; laying in bed alone after concluding the act of masturbation triggers an emotional letdown. It emulates the sharp increase in negative emotions (depression, loneliness, self-hatred, etc…) that women often experience after a boyfriend gets up and leaves after “he is finish”, or an uncaring husband rolls over and falls asleep after sex. Such a woman is most often left feeling worse than she did at the onset.

In the Power of His Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Breaking the bonds of sexual perversion ~ Healing the bonds of heart-2-heart intimacy

Copyright © 2013 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.


2012 in Review for Insights from Dr. Intimacy Blog

Thanks to every one who made this one of the most popular blogs on the internet in 2012. May many more visitors be blessed in 2013! Here is a stats report that prepared, the 2012 annual report for this blog. Thanks again. Let’s keep it growing!

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 34,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 8 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

STDs 2013 4

Growing up, I was what people called “one of those nasty girls”. I was obsessed with sex by the time I was five. The influences of sexuality were all around in my home life, and it was nothing strange to me. I thought I knew everything by the time I decided to have sex the first time, but I really didn’t know anything, not the stuff that really matters.

I wrote this book because I don’t want anyone to be as dumb as I was about having sex. Having sex nearly destroyed my life; it is a miracle I am alive today! In this book, you are going to learn how immoral sexual activity caused me to make wrong choices. You will learn how it leads to negative personality changes and the spiritual and emotional dangers of “casual sex”.

Sex looks a lot differently when viewed through spiritual eyes. This book will provoke you to change how you look at sex and cause you to understand that it is much more than a physical act. While written ideally for teenagers and young adults, readers of all ages have benefited from the information shared in this book. It is especially helpful for parents, youth leaders and singles.

Sex is valuable and once you realize how powerful it really is, you will no longer take it so lightly. Get enlightened to the deeper truths about sex in this RAW and REAL book that will make you laugh and make you think! No holds barred; nothing held back — it’s a look into the dark side of sex!

Buy now in Amazon’s Create Space Estore!

The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book 2013 Edition, It’s Finally Here!!!

The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book 2013 front cover

The first edition of this book, published in 2004, has been read all over the world in countries such as Nigeria, London, Canada, Australia and Germany. The most unique book ever of its kind; it delves deeply into the subject matter of God-designed sexuality, sexual sin and how sex is relative to our worship of God. Thousands of church leaders and lay people have received help in getting understanding and true deliverance concerning issues of sexual perversion. Many more, including those outside of the church, have been touched and encouraged by Laneen’s transparency in sharing her powerful testimony.

The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book, 2013 Edition includes significant enhancements. Enjoy a dedicated chapter on “sex demons”, also referred to as incubus. There is a new chapter for married couples. Along with these additions, you will find 11 different spirits of sexual perversion discussed in deep and insightful detail, each in its own designated chapter. Also, enjoy powerful application revelations in a section entitled “Insights from Dr. Intimacy”. What you can count on that has not changed is Dr. Intimacy’s heart felt transparency and compassion, which encourages you every step of the way as you read God’s Handbook on Sex Education — The Encyclopedia of Christian Sexuality! Prophetess Laneen Haniah, a prolific author and lecturer better known as “Dr. Intimacy”, gives an enlightening look into the naked truth about sex, intimacy and worship from a holistic perspective.


•God’s purpose for sex

• Sexual blood covenants

• Satan’s true motive for perversion

• Intimacy guidelines for marriage

• Seeing perversion when it’s not physically present

• Recognizing perversion in the church

• 12 Steps to deliverance

• Knowing how to tell when you’re free

• Fornication

• Masturbation

• Adultery

• Incest

• Homosexuality

• Intersexuals

• Prostitution

• Pornography

• Molestation

• Bestiality

• Sexual Lust

• Incubus

• Promiscuity

Order now on , also available on

The Devil Wants to Steal Your Worship!

the devil

The two foundational and most critical revelations that I teach are:

1) Yahweh wants to share spiritual intimacy with us in the same way He designed for couples to experience physical intimacy in marriage;

2) The devil’s only agenda in sexual perversion is to steal your worship!

If you get a firm and insightful understanding of these two important truths, your battle with sexual perversion is already half over. So let’s explore the real reason satan is so after your worship, by taking a look at some scriptures in Job.

8“Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?”  9Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for nothing? 10Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 11But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!” (Job 1: 8-11, NKJV)”

I have heard this text preached many times and in many ways, but I never heard it presented the way the Holy Spirit showed it to me one day, as I was preparing for a conference. He opened up the eyes of my understanding so I could see that this entire story is really about worship. The way the text is translated makes it appear as if The LORD invited satan to attack Job, but this was actually not the case. The context clues of Job chapter 1 make it apparent that the LORD and satan were engaged in a dialogue about satan’s activity on the earth. As satan was being true to his nature, probably bringing heinous accusations against the earth  and boasting about the legal right he had to cause destruction due to people’s sins; Yahweh responded by defending His creation through the example of Job and pointed out to the accuser that His Righteousness was still exalted on the earth. It seems that the conversation probably was something to this effect.

So looking at verse 8 where it reads, “have you considered”, in a different translation of the Hebrew that phrase could mean “have you violently laid a hand upon”. Then when you look at the word “fear” in that same verse that word can also be translated “worship”. So if we read the text again with these different translated meanings, it would read as follows: “’Then the Lord said to satan ‘have you violently laid a hand upon my servant job, there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who worships me and shuns evil?’” This was a taunting dialogue for the enemy because the point that God was making, which is made clear through examining satan’s response, is that Job was under divine protection due to his lifestyle of consistent worship and righteousness.

In chapter 1, The Father lifts His divine protection from Job’s life and gives the enemy liberty to afflict all that he owns. Satan destroys everything in Job’s life, but is not permitted to afflict Job’s physical body. Satan then returns to converse with God and this is what is said in chapter 2:3-5 (using revealed translation) 3Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you violently laid a hand upon My servant Job, there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who worships God and shuns evil? And still he holds fast to his integrity, although you incited Me against him, to destroy him without cause.” 4So Satan answered the Lord and said, “Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life. 5But stretch out Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will surely curse You to Your face!”

For many years the book of Job disturbed me because of this phrase in verse 3, “although you incited Me against him, to destroy him without cause”. I asked myself, “Why would Yahweh deliberately stir up satan’s wrath against a blameless and upright man?” It was in searching for an answer to this question that the revelation was made clear. What The God of All Wisdom was really saying is, “You dared me to challenge the worship of Job, my servant. You challenged me to prove to you satan that his intimacy with me means more than all that he has! You provoked me to prove to you that I can allow you to take away all that I have given him and he will still worship me!”

When the Holy Spirit showed me this, I was blown away. Job had experienced the richness of worship and intimacy with The Creator and because of that nothing else mattered to him. Although his possessions were valuable, HIS WORSHIP WAS PRICELESS. That is why even when his wife came against him, he still would not curse God; when Job’s marital intimacy stopped, he still had his worship intimacy with Yahweh. What satan was really after was not Job’s possessions. Satan has access to every earthly possession and wealth imaginable. What he wanted was Job’s worship. He despised, with green envy, the intimacy between Job and the LORD.

Look at all that the enemy did to Job, and yet Job never cursed – or attempted to break his covenant – with The Father. The devil knows this to be the nature of the heart of all TRUE worshippers. Once satan loses you to intimacy with Your Creator, it is unlikely that he will ever retrieve you! He doesn’t care if you have a gift; or work in ministry; or sow large offerings; or fast and pray for long periods in pursuit of selfish ambitions, but he never wants you to experience the fullness of worship and intimacy!  

This is why he so desperately wants to keep you locked into sexual perversion. If you win the battle over sexual sin, you will be transformed into a beautiful and holy vessel of pure worship. And the enemy knows that in that kind of pure worship, there is the release of everything else that Yahweh has for you. Everything is hidden in your intimacy with Him. Satan wants to steal your worship. He wants to steal your blessing, he wants to steal your destiny. In Job 29 we see an even clearer picture of what Job’s worship gave birth to in his life:

2“Oh, that I were as in months past, As in the days when God watched over me; 3When His lamp shone upon my head, And when by His light I walked through darkness; 4Just as I was in the days of my prime, When the friendly counsel of God was over my tent; 5When the Almighty was yet with me, When my children were around me; 6When my steps were bathed with cream, And the rock poured out rivers of oil for me!”

In these verses, as Job reminisces on the way life was before his affliction, notice that he does not mention his possessions. He paints a picture of divine protection, divine favor, divine guidance, divine prosperity, divine wisdom, divine fellowship, divine multiplication, divine ease of living, and a consistent flow of The Anointing! Wow, WOW, W-O-W!!!

There is so much more than just your sexual purity that the enemy wants to take away from you when he sets himself to afflict you with sexual perversion. What he is really after is your worship because all of the blessings that Job enjoyed are connected to your worship. Furthermore, worship is required for The Anointing to flow in your life. So the very next time you are tempted to masturbate, have illicit sex, watch porn, cheat on your spouse, lay with the same sex, be sexually inappropriate with a relative, sell your body for sex, violate a child, molest an animal or lust in your heart – please hear these words ringing loudly in your spirit: THE DEVIL WANTS TO STEAL YOUR WORSHIP! As a matter of fact, say it out loud to yourself three times as loud as you can:




And then, DON’T LET HIM!!!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Breaking the bonds of sexual perversion ~ Healing the bonds of heart-2-heart intimacy

Copyright © 2013 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.