Non-Sexual Adultery

What is adultery actually? Well the literal definition according to most English dictionaries is to have sex with someone other than your spouse when you are married. We don’t need to expound upon that definition too much, as it is pretty apparent exactly what that means. The only insight that I would add to this literal definition is that sexual contact, even when it does not include full penetration, is unequivocally adultery!

I can remember this one couple that I encountered. The guy was accused of adultery, but he and the other woman in question disagreed on whether or not they had actually had sex.  She said that they did have sex, but he said that they didn’t. He concluded that even though they were both but naked in bed together, kissing, humping and climaxing – it didn’t count because he only ‘peeked his head in’ without fully penetrating her. OK I’m sorry for that graphic description, but the ludicrous guise of deception that people are under sometimes is just astonishing to me. We had to spend months worth of counseling just to establish whether or not sex had actually occurred between he and his mistress, before we could move on to any real deliverance sessions! I am not usually this descriptive and won’t be often,  nor do I invite comments of such nature. Everyone once in a while it is just necessary to get really raw though, because someone reading this was offended at the guy I just described… until they remembered when they did the same thing! So let’s just be honest with ourselves my brothers and sisters, so that real deliverance can occur in our lives without delay.

But anyway, back to my topic. Outside of the obvious literal meaning of adultery, there are other ways that adultery can manifest itself in one’s marriage.

If you are married, pornography would definitely fall under the umbrella of adultery for you. Through pornography you are creating a sexual connection with another person. People watch pornography because it is sexually stimulating. As a married person, you should only be receiving sexual stimulation from your own husband or wife. That is why Yeshua states in Matthew 5:27-28, “27You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Pornography is commonly accompanied by masturbation and on-going sexual fantasy. Long after the video is no longer being viewed, you are repeatedly committing adultery in your heart and mind.

 There is also the most subtle form of adultery that has as of lately claimed more formerly faithful wives than you might imagine. This form that I am talking about is commonly referred to as emotional adultery. This happens when you develop and nurture strong feelings of attraction, love or friendship with someone other than your spouse. A frequent doorway for this type of adultery to enter into one’s marriage is through the forging of an internet relationship, which often times at the onset seems like such an innocent and safe way to make an emotional connection with someone. It also frequently occurs in close working relationships, between close family friends and with spiritual leaders or mentors as well. Really, any ongoing communication between two people can lead to this type of adultery if not carefully monitored.

For the broadest understanding of what adultery is – always remembering that we are to consider first the motive of the heart before we consider anything else – it is anyone or anything that you become intimate with. Yes, I said anyTHING too! Marriage is a sacred covenant that you enter into with the promise to love, honor and cherish above all else. Furthermore, don’t forget that marriage is designed to be the symbol of our relationship with The Creator. Just as NO one or NO thing should ever come before God in your life – aside from your intimate, personal relationship with Him – NO one or NO thing should ever come before your spouse.

You should not have a closer friend; you should have no secrets; you should have no greater love; no greater intimacy; no greater oneness; no greater loyalty, commitment or connection of any kind; than that which you have with your spouse. This includes people – especially your family and even your children. This includes places – such as your job and even more especially the church. And this includes things – such as sports, hobbies and even ministry pursuits! Don’t get an intimate relationship with God confused with public ministry. Your intimate relationship with God should always come before your relationship with your spouse – your public ministry never should!

Any bond or intimacy that you create with anyone or anything that takes away from the esteemed first place of honor that should be reserved and dedicated to your spouse alone, is a betrayal and a violation of your sacred marriage covenant. Let me put this disclaimer out there: I am not endorsing the use of this revelation to offset a free-fall of divorces on the grounds of “non-sexual adultery”. However, I believe that the absence of this understanding is destroying more marriages than any other weapon in this present day. The spirit of adultery is present in more marriages than we can possibly conceive. Surely, when the spirit is present and prevalent in subtle, non-sexual manifestations of adultery – it is likely that sexual adultery will follow. That is why it is so important that you grasp this broader understanding of what adultery really is.

How do you feel about what I shared in this article? Have you been a victim of non-sexual adultery or maybe a committer of such or is this absolute gibberish to you? Let me know your thoughts.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Is Masturbation in the Bible As a Sin?

Last month  I posted an article entitled “Are You a Christian Who Masturbates?” There were a lot of interesting comments and some deep questions. I was not specific as to any particular scripture when addressing the topic. I wanted to give people a chance to share their thoughts on it. But now it’s time for “Dr. Intimacy’s Final Word From Scripture” on the matter. This is a tough one to break down and it took some time to unravel the revelation in scripture. So you might want to grab a cup of coffee and get your Bible and a notebook, as I take you deep into the text to reveal a Biblical answer on the question of masturbation!

A lot of people debate over whether or not masturbation is actually a sin. Many people want to confine the Word of God to our limited English language and vocabulary. Because in their hearts they desire to indulge in sin, they feign ignorance due to the fact that every evil act is not noted in black and white in the Bible. However, the Bible tells us in Romans 1:18-19, 18But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who push the truth away from themselves. 19For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts.”

Admittedly, there is no scripture in the Bible that says, “Thou shall not masturbate”. So hey, if you want to chance standing before God on judgment day with your hand in your pants, you can try this omission of specific language out as your defense! However, for those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, you are getting ready to get your fill: the Bible Truth concerning masturbation. Since there is no scripture that uses the word “masturbation” (simply because there is no word-for-word translation between the languages used) let’s examine some scriptures where it can clearly be read between the lines.

“Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” This scripture in 1 Corinthians 6:18,  has often been debated as to its relevance toward masturbation. This is because verses 15 and 16 of this same chapter, as you will read further down, makes specific reference to female prostitution. However, in order to fully understand a scripture, you have to examine it within the context of the entire passage that it is connected to.

That is why I want to take a look back to first Corinthians chapter 6 beginning at verse 9. By doing so, we can find some pretty strong references to masturbation. Since this is a long passage of text, let’s look at the scriptures a few at a time beginning with 6:9-10 “9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.”

The author of this text makes specific mention of several different acts of sexual perversion: sexual sin, adultery, male prostitution and homosexuality.  Homosexuality we understand clearly to be sexual relations or attraction between two people of the same gender. Male prostitutes are clearly men who exchange sex for money or favors, most often with other men and often as a part of idol worship. Adultery is understood to be sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse.

Then we are left with the term “sexual sin”. What is the author referring to with this term? This text was written during a time when it was culturally acceptable for men to have as many wives as they wanted to. This means that a man could not “technically fornicate” in the way we think of fornication, which is “sex outside of marriage”. If a woman was single and agreed to have sex with a man, they were married – unless she was a prostitute or committing adultery. With female prostitution already being addressed directly in verse 18 and adultery already being addressed in verse 9, what else are we to believe the term “sexual sin” means here, as it is certainly not fornication?

Now let’s look at verses 11 – 14. “11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.  12 You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, ‘Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.’ (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.”

In this passage in verses 11-14, the author expounds upon his reference to being “greedy”, made earlier in verse 9. By doing so, he is trying to help us understand that just because we have been made “clean”, does not mean that we are exempt from the bondage of sin. You can eat, and eating in and of itself is not bad. However, you can also be greedy by overeating and overeating can be deadly. Let’s face it; overeating is suicide on a payment plan. Carelessly subjecting your body to unwholesome, damaging activities is sinful. In other words, just because the body functions enable you to perform an activity, doesn’t mean that you should engage in that activity. The author gives this simple, practical example about eating because it is easy to relate to.

Then the author wants to build upon this understanding and apply this same concept to sexual immorality in the next passage, making the point clear once again: just because you can do something, doesn’t mean that you should do something! 15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one. 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.”

So now, looking at verses 15 and 16 in consideration of the entire message being portrayed, the specific reference to prostitution is no more the “focus” of this passage than any of these other specific references. What is more important than the reference to prostitution are these clauses from 13, 14 and 17: “But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality [like you can say the stomach was made for food; and since you can’t say that it makes engaging in sexual immorality even that much worse]. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead… 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.”  These clauses are important because the truth of the matter is that ALL sexual perversion causes you to become one with somebody. Whether done rightly through marriage or wrongly through homosexuality, prostitution or adultery – sex makes you one with the person you join to.

This truth is just as applicable in the case of masturbation as with any other sexual act. Your body belongs to the Lord and is designed to die to self and sin, after you have been cleansed and set apart. This is apparent because in the middle of a passage that has nothing to do with natural death or resurrection, the author makes a clear indication of your body being raised from the dead. This is the death of flesh, death to self, death to your own will and your way that the author is talking about. When you let your body die to sinful ways, God will raise your dead body up as a standard of righteousness for all to see! Yet, instead of dying to self and becoming “one spirit” with The Lord, you are exalting your own sinful life and becoming one with the will of your flesh. And so finally, we can read verses 6:18-20 with full understanding.

“ 18Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The Apostle Paul clearly and deliberately covered each type of “sexual immorality” (the general term that is used for all sexual activity not done with your spouse) in this passage: adultery, male prostitution, female prostitution, homosexuality and masturbation (sexual sin). The specific illustration of prostitution in verses 15 and 16 is only used to help paint a clear picture of sexual perversion that everyone can undeniably agree is sinful. He follows this illustration by pointing out that we are to be “one spirit” with the Lord.

I don’t believe that if Paul could have translated this passage into English himself that he would have included a break between the two clauses in 17 and 18, “one spirit with him” and “Run from sexual sin!”  This is one continuous thought, leading us into understanding that masturbation, which is what I believe he is referring to when he uses the term ‘sexual sin’, is just as perverse as prostitution and all of the other acts of sexual immorality mentioned in this chapter. It is not at all by coincidence that this clause is followed in verse 19 with these words: “You do not belong to yourself…”

The text could have said, “You do not belong to a prostitute….” or “You do not belong to an adulterer…” or “You do not belong to a  homosexual…” But instead it clearly states, “YOU DO NOT BELONG TO YOURSELF!”: A vivid picture of the act of ‘self-sex’ and taking liberties with your own body that are not harmonious with your estate as The Temple of the Holy Spirit.

You see, Paul wanted to ensure that no matter what kind of sexual addiction you are dealing with, you would know that this text applies to you… Yes, even you who freely indulge yourselves sexually. Now all you have to consider is this: Does masturbation honor God with your body? Can you see yourself at the throne with the 24 elders, who will be casting their crowns before Him in worship, bowing and saying, “Holy, Holy, Holy…” while you are indulging in your own flesh, enjoying sexual lust by your own hand? That is what you have to ask yourself.

Check this out on YouTube 

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Understanding Intimacy Part 2: What We Learn About Worship Through Sex

I am continuing my series on understanding intimacy. If you have not read part 1 of the series, please read it before reading this article. We ended part 1 with the revelation that there are 4 lessons that God wants to teach us through the sexual intimacy of a husband and wife, according to His perfect design for sex. The next four posts in this series, beginning with this one, will reveal what these four lessons are. To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.

Lesson 1: Worship only one God – the True and Living God

The first and I believe the most important purpose of sexual intimacy is to help us understand that we are to worship only one God – the True and Living God that created us. We learn in the scriptures above that just as a married person is to have sex only with their one spouse, we are to worship only our one Lord. God implemented sexual intimacy as an act to be performed between one man and one woman only. This is obvious because He took only one rib from Adam’s body to create only one woman (Gen 2:21-22). There was no other man on earth that Adam had to share his wife with!

Every other activity that spouses do together can be done with someone else as well. Sex is the only act that a spouse cannot do (lawfully in the sight of the True God) with any other human being. Understanding that sexual intimacy is equivalent to worship, we can easily see that this is true in our relationship with God as well. We can interact with others in many of the same ways in which we interact with God. We talk to God – we can talk to people; we seek God – we can seek things; we praise God – we can praise accomplishments; we desire God – and we can desire people too.

Performing any of these acts toward people or other pursuits is perfectly lawful in God’s sight. Worship is the one thing that The Lord tells us we are to do to Him and Him alone, as is stated in Exodus 34:14, “You must worship no other gods, but only The Lord, for he is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you.” So you can see how sexual intimacy between husband and wife in the natural is symbolic of spiritual intimacy (worship) between God and humanity in the spirit. Just think of how jealous and hurt a man or woman is when they know that their spouse has been unfaithful to them. Our Lord feels the same way when we worship any other god (a god can be an object, person, pursuit or activity) beside Him.

I will post lesson number two in the next article on this series. And remember, you can read the full revelation on this topic in my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook.” which can be found on http://www.drintimacy.com.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Understanding Intimacy Part 1: Why Did God Create Sexual Intimacy?

Anything you don’t understand, you are bound to abuse. That is why scripture admonishes us in Proverbs 4:7 to get understanding in all that we get; for wisdom truly is the principle thing. Before you can can really grasp anything else I write about on this blog, you are going to have to get a good grasp on the core foundational revelation upon which this whole ministry was built.  I will be sharing this revelations with you in the “Understanding Intimacy Series” which will be contained in a number of posts. If you plan on being a regular follower of this blog and really want a deeper understanding of wholesome intimacy and deliverance from sexual perversion, study this series carefully. All of the information in this series is taken directly from my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook: Updated 2012 Edition which can be ordered at www.drintimacy.com” To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.

I believe that the three greatest weaknesses of humanity in the flesh are: 1) The need to eat; 2) The need to sleep; and 3) The urge to have sex. I note these three needs to emphasize how the spirits of sexual perversion work. They take advantage of one of the greatest weaknesses of the flesh – our God-given desire to have sex.

God told man and woman in the book of Genesis to, “…Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth…(Gen 1:28)” There is of course spiritual significance to what God said to them on that day, but there is also natural, practical significance. In laymen’s terms God was basically saying, “I command you to have sex and lots of it!” This may be a little hard to swallow because of our perception of sex. We generally think of sex as something forbidden, naughty or perverse. Let us consider it practically though.

In order  for them to multiply (in its most literal sense meaning to have children) they would have to engage in intercourse to afford conception an opportunity. Then in order to replenish the earth, which is a tall order to fill, they would have to engage in intercourse often so that they might improve the likelihood of frequent conception. Another point to consider is the fact that when God gave this command people did not wear clothing. All of us who are, or once were, sexually active would probably agree that the absence of clothing often times stirs sexual desire. This is especially true if you are in a relationship with someone who you are highly attracted to and in love with. There is no reason to believe there were any exceptions to this basic instinct at the dawn of creation. Yahweh is a very deliberate God and all of this was by no means a coincidence! Thus, the truth of the matter is that God created us to frequently engage in and enjoy sexual intimacy.

What we have to realize is that because man was created in the image and likeness of the Lord God Almighty (Gen 1:26), humanity was created in Holy Perfection. Everything about man (and woman) was good and pure at the time of creation, including the act of sex. But once sin entered into the earth, it perverted everything God had created on the earth. How did sin enter into all of creation on earth considering that humanity alone committed sin? This is because all of creation on earth was under man’s dominion.

Once humanity became corrupt, all that we had dominion over became corrupt along with us. Sin had entered into man and corrupted us in our entirety. The corruption of sin caused us to be separated from Elohim the Creator and without that connection to God, all of creation and everything about it became perverse and evil. That is one of the reasons why David says in the book of Psalms, “I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. (Ps 51:5, KJV)” The act of sex is just another part of what was perverted by sin at the fall of humanity. So now we understand that God actually ordained sexual intimacy and that sex is not bad, but we still need to understand why Yahweh implemented sexual intimacy as a part of the normal routine of humanity.

First off, it is important to understand that everything that exists in the natural world exists first in the spiritual world. The Bible teaches us that God is a Spirit and indicates that His Kingdom is a spiritual one (John 4:24; 14:17; Mat 12:28, 16:26). The earth and all it entails was created to be a natural and physical emulation of God’s spiritual Kingdom. That is why nature was made with such splendor and glorious detail, such precision and perfection. God has given us everything in the natural to help us understand something about His Kingdom and the spirit realm, which is the realm of eternity and is also where the true existence of each and every one of us lives. As a part of this natural representation of Him and His Kingdom, God implemented sexual intimacy in marriage, between man and woman to teach humanity something about the spirit realm. More specifically as far as sex and marriage is concerned, it is to teach us about our relationship with Him.

Through study and revelation of the scriptures we learn that sexual intimacy in the natural is equivalent to worship in the spirit. We can see this by looking at some scriptures in the third chapter of Jeremiah. (Keep in mind that ‘Israel’ and ‘Judah’ were used as names for the collective chosen nation of (Yahweh/God in the Old Testament). “6…Have you seen what fickle Israel does? Like a wife who commits adultery, Israel has worshiped other gods7…And though her faithless sister Judah saw this, 8 she paid no attention. She saw that I had divorced faithless Israel and sent her away. But now Judah, too, has left me and given herself to prostitution.

Scriptures similar to these, referring to idol worship as adultery or some other type of illicit sexual act, can be found all throughout the books of the prophets. In both the Old and New Testament of the Bible the people of God are commonly referred to as “wife” or “bride” (Isa 62:5, Jer 2:2, 2 Cor 11:2, Eph 5:23).Marriage is clearly a symbolic picture of our relationship with God, and theBible makes a strong and clear comparison between sex and worship. Therefore, there is no doubt that sexual intimacy in the natural is equivalent to worship in the spirit or “spiritual intimacy”.

In certain scriptures, we can even see a strong parallel between Adam’s relationship to Eve and our relationship to God, before sin entered in. In Genesis 2:22-24 it reads, 22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. 24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (NLT)” Then if we take a look at Ephesians 1:4 it reads, 4Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love. (AMP)”

While restraining myself from writing an entire book expounding upon the depth of revelation hidden in these two scriptures, I just want to point out a couple of nuggets. The woman — the wife — was taken out of the man. We the bride of Christ, were taken out of Him. The woman was made in the man’s own likeness. We were made in the likeness of God. The woman was made just for the man and set apart just for him.  In the same way, we were made just for The LORD and set apart just for Him. Lastly, the man leaves his mother and father to unite with his wife and become one flesh with her. Likewise Yeshua (Jesus) left His Father to unite with us, His bride, and he became flesh with us!

Wow, I get excited every time I read that to know that God wants to be that intimate with us! And this is the foundation upon which I minister on sex, intimacy and relationships. There are four things about the spirit realm, God’s Kingdom and our relationship with Him that we can learn through marital relations and sexual intimacy. We will explore those four things over the next 4 posts in this series. Check back for part 2 and don’t miss a thang!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.