So You Think You’ve Changed…

…You may have experienced a seeming breakthrough or change of nature lately, but be careful because our basic nature never really changes. Like the thorn in Paul’s side that God would not take away, so are we all. But through the sufficiency of His grace, he positions us in safe places to overcome those things that would try to over come us. And as long as we

accept the help that He sends, and stay in the place of safety that He gives us, we are victorious. But when we refuse His help, or step outside of His safe place then we find ourselves being buffeted by the same old issues that we thought were no longer issues!

Don’t mistake being shielded from the effect of an issue as the same thing as it being taken away. Whatever or whoever God has sent into your life to protect you from falling, cling to it, or you will soon discover that you hadn’t changed after all.

~Daily Insights from Dr. Intimacy~ © November 5, 2012

Is Sexual Sin Caused by a Spirit?

While visiting another blog that addresses homosexuality amongst “so-called believers” (that is the author’s sentiment, not necessarily mine); I was struck by a statement that the author made. He was debating the existence of “the spirit of homosexuality”, claiming that people used the idea of demonic possession as an excuse to continue on in sin.  In his opinion, people sin by choice alone, influenced solely by their own sin nature and the spirit of lust. He was particularly disturbed that he had observed Pastor Benny Hinn “casting out” a spirit of homosexuality. And it may be good to mention that the gentleman that authored the article, formerly lived as a homosexual and has since dedicated himself to being a voice against it. Needless to say, he is very passionate about what he shares. His view is simply this, “There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”  

I thought his article brought up a very good question: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

I tend to agree with pastor Benny on this point. I do believe there is a spirit of homosexuality. As a matter of fact, I believe that nearly every sinful or demonic act is influenced by a particular type of demonic spirit. The author of the aforementioned article, as well as many other people, focus too greatly on how demons are named in the bible. When the truth of the matter is, the names of demons are not all that significant; it is their function and their type that matters. So you may not always see demons “named” in the Bible, but their functions and types are clearly outlined. In other words, their type is made plain by what they do; the fruit they produce in the life of the person they are affecting.

How often did we see YHshua (Jesus) cast demons out of people to heal them of an illness? “When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick.”  Mat 8:16, NKJV

Even in the case of Mary Magdalene, she was delivered from prostitution by the casting out of 7 demons. Now when He rose early on the first day of the week, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom He had cast seven demons.” Mark 7:9, NKJV (Her prostitution is “implied” in other scriptures. She was referred to specifically as “an especially wicked sinner”.)

In actuality,  the bible very seldom identified demonic spirits by a name.  Evil spirits were identified as being – evil, wicked, unclean, perverse and so on – but seldom by an actual distinct name.  And Jesus summoned to Him His twelve disciples and gave them power and authority over unclean spirits, to drive them out, and to cure all kinds of disease and all kinds of weakness and infirmity.” Mat 10:1, AMP

Ok… So if there is now a clear understanding that demons are acknowledged, but not necessarily named, in scripture – let’s deal with the next point:“There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”

This statement actually made me laugh. It was borderline ridiculous, in my opinion. We do not need different spirits or “type spirits” of righteousness; such as a “spirit of heterosexuality” (if heterosexuality is being implied to be a good thing in this instance, within the confines of a marriage). We don’t need a “spirit of kindness”, “spirit of truth”, “spirit of sobriety”, etc.  In order to live righteously, there is only need of One Spirit and that is, The Holy Spirit. All righteous living is a result of the Spirit of  YHWH God at work in our lives. He is the Spirit of Truth, Spirit of Love, Spirit of Obedience… He is the very source of all that is good and right; including pure, loving intimacy between a husband and wife (heterosexuality).

In terms of heterosexual sin, sex taking place outside of the confines of marriage, that influence would be typed as a “spirit of fornication”. But in essence at the end of the day, all sexual sin – all sin of any type for that matter – is influenced by  “the spirit of lust”. The term “spirit of lust” is actually the very definition of  ‘satan’. So all sin is influenced by the spirit of satan, and likewise all righteousness is influenced by “the Spirit of YHWH God”! But the Spirit of YHWH God is omni-present because He can be everywhere, and in everyone all at once. The spirit of satan is not so. He and his cohorts are limited to influencing or indwelling only one person at a time. So satan sends out his workers like soldiers, in groups specifically assigned and trained to do (or cause) specific acts of disobedience and/or types of oppression.

So the question is: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

The answer is: Yes and No! 

Just as the presence of the Holy Spirit can cause you to live righteously, the presence of a “Helly” spirit can cause you to live wickedly. I believe that ignorance concerning the workings of demonic spirits in our lives causes so many Christians to live a defeated life. Identifying an evil spirit does not give us an excuse to sin; it gives us ammunition to stop sinning! Naming a spirit according to its type, is just a way of specifying how the spirit of satan is working in your life more precisely. This is actually very empowering, giving insight into what weaknesses the enemy takes advantage of, to interfere with the abundance of our lives – spirit, soul and body! After all, YHshua never cast satan out of anyone, he always cast out demons. Nor does scripture say he cast “lust” out of Mary Magdalene. It says he cast out seven demons.

My only precaution on the ‘no’ side of my answer would be using the word “cause”, since you can only be “influenced” to sin, instead of forced. We all get to choose our own path and which spirit’s influence we give in to (unless one is truly “possessed” from childhood – but that’s another topic!) So although different spirits of evil may be the cause of sin in your life, it is because of your own choice that such sin is actually manifested.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2012 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Is Common Law Marriage Acceptable Before God?

Most of us know what common law marriage is. This happens when two people, who are afraid of commitment, shack up for so long that they become legally recognized as husband and wife, by the government and other people. These types of couples tend to consider themselves to be married when it suits them, and not married when it doesn’t  It is a false commitment or an oxymoron at best, because you cannot be “committed” in a non-committed relationship.

Nevertheless, the concept of a common law marriage is not as unbiblical as it may seem. In actuality, what creates a marriage covenant is sexual intercourse. The courts create a marriage contract, but sexual intercourse – with or without the involvement of the courts – creates a marriage covenant. When two people become sexually active and then decide to live together, the inbred human instinct is likely the force that is driving them. You see, from the beginning of time, it would have been unlawful to follow any other course of action.

As the old saying goes, “You break it, you buy it!” In other words, whenever a man was the one to break a woman’s virginity, or her abstinence after divorce or widowhood, she became his to keep for life. She became his responsibility and obligation. If you were a woman, who allowed yourself to succumb to the temptation of sex with a man, you became that man’s property, his wife.

What we call “common law marriage”, was the only type of marriage that existed in early times and amongst the Children of Israel. Paperwork was not necessary to establish, solidify or validate a marriage covenant that two people made in private. As a matter of fact, amongst those cultures of morally strict beliefs (such as the Jews), if two people had sex and did not accept each other as husband and wife, and it became publicly known, there were serious penalties – sometimes as serious as execution! For the woman found in this situation that was not killed, she was labeled a prostitute, and the man a whoremonger. So in actuality, “common law marriage” was common place.

Yet at the same time, because marriage in most cultures is such a significant and honorable event, there was quite a bit of ceremony surrounding the making of a marriage covenant. The village of the husband and wife to be – the elders, family members and friends – rallied in support of the new couple. The village also stood as witnesses of the covenant, to ensure that the union be made publicly known. This was to hold the new couple accountable to the guidelines of the covenant, and to discourage the couple from living as if they were still available. These traditional practices led to what we now know as the wedding ceremony. However, these ceremonies were not paramount in the establishing of a marriage, the way it is in our culture today.  In some instances, the covenant was made privately between the new husband and wife; then publicized and celebrated later. It was perfectly legal and acceptable to do so, as long as the female was free to speak for herself (meaning she was not still of her father’s household, a slave or in another marriage).

So if you are involved in a common law marriage, you might be jumping for joy right now, feeling like you are “OK” in your “shacking” situation – BUT HOLD YOUR HORSES. No covenant can ever be established without a meeting of the minds. In every covenant recorded in scripture, the terms of the covenant were clearly outlined to all parties involved. Furthermore, the covenant was not binding until all parties, with full understanding and by their own choice, agreed to abide by the terms. “How can two walk together unless they agree?” There cannot be the establishment of a covenant without full AGREEMENT. And since a marriage covenant is made between a man, a woman and God (because it is God who designed and ordained the marriage covenant) – the man and woman must be in agreement with each other and with God, in order for that covenant to be a legitimately established and binding one.

A covenant is such a strong, life-altering, forever-binding commitment, which such great consequences for violating any of the terms. It would be beyond unjust to bind someone to a covenant, without their knowledge.  As it were, it is actually impossible to do so! You can forge someone’s name on a contract, but you cannot forge a covenant. The issue here is that we are talking about the difference between a contract and a covenant. A contract is created on paper and can therefore be nullified on paper, but a covenant is created in the spirit. It is something that cannot be established on paper, but is instead written on the tablets of the heart. It is a solemn, sober-minded, life-long pledge of commitment that is literally engrafted into the heart and soul of the parties of agreement.

A contract can be cancelled, but in order to break an established covenant, something or someone has to die. You are forever changed after making a covenant and whatever or whoever you were before that covenant was made, no longer exists afterward. You can never go back and be that person again. You are so radically altered that you are literally no longer the same person. The only way to get around the obligations of a covenant – and I do mean “get around” in every sense of its significance – is to drastically alter your life once again. You have to recreate yourself, in order to be able to function and work around whatever in you had to die, for that covenant to be broken.

So you may be asking yourself, “OK, what is the point she is trying to make here?” The point that I am making is this:

Any sexual blood covenant that you create with the person you are having sex with, will not stand as a binding marriage covenant before God – unless that was the full “heart intent”, of both you and your partner, before the first sexual act took place.

Let there be no confusion about what I am saying here. Irrefutably, you do create a sexual blood covenant, WHICH IS THE FORMATION OF A MARRIAGE, each and every time you have sex with someone. However, it is not a binding marriage AGREEMENT, unless marriage was your intent. In other words, your covenant exists, but is not honorable, legitimate or binding.

The core commitment never existed – when your initial intent was a moment of pleasure, as opposed to a life-time of serving.

So my final answer is this: Yes and No.

YES: Common law marriage (saying the term loosely because there was no such term or concept in ancient, biblical times) is acceptable before God, if marriage was the initial intent – with a full understanding that the sexual act would be the beginning of the commencement of that marriage. This basically means that two available (not currently married) people of the opposite sex, choose to come into agreement about a marriage covenant privately and without a public ceremony or court involvement. However such marriages would still be made publicly known.

NO: Shacking up in a sexually-based, non-committed relationship for years, and then just through the passing of time “ending up legally married” is not honorable before God. This covenant can and should be nullified and re-established the decent and orderly way, if you both agree and desire to have a legitimate, binding and blessed marriage covenant before God.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2012 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Experience TRUE Intimacy This Year!

It is the beginning of a New Year, a time that most of us take personal inventory of our lives. Part of that self-evaluation usually concerns our relationships. Maybe you are like many who experienced a lack of fulfillment in your relationships in this past year. Maybe you are so turned aside with relationships that your New Year’s resolution is to completely disassociate yourself from everyone! But wait! Before you pack your knapsack and find a nice dark, emotional cave to live out the rest of your days as a hermit, let’s consider a few things.

First of all, do you even know the meaning of intimacy? When I ask the question, “What is intimacy?” what is the first thing that comes to mind? By looking at a number of different definitions, I was able to conclude that intimacy can be comprehensively defined as: A loving, affectionate, close and familiar personal relationship; with detailed knowledge and deep understanding of another person; and furthermore expression toward that person serving as a token of the state of being intimate.

Notice that the definition of intimacy has nothing to do with sex. Perhaps the first clue to the lack of intimacy in your life is your misconstrued understanding of what it truly is, and how to apply it in your relationships. Intimacy is not something that you act out behind closed doors, in a candlelit room, on satin sheets. Intimacy is a nature that you have to walk in daily, with those whom you choose to share intimacy with. Intimacy is not something that you do – it is rather something that you are: intimacy is not an activity – it is a nature. Let’s look more closely at the words in the definition for intimacy.

Loving – as in “a sacrificial commitment toward a person’s betterment”. Love is a SERIOUS ACTION WORD with a defined series of what you need to do, and what you definitely should not do. Love is patient; it is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud; it does not dishonor another; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs; it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth; it always protects; always trusts; always hopes; and always perseveres.

Affectionate – as in “releasing warm energy toward a person”. Affection is the emotion that gives you that “gooey feeling” inside. Affection is a genuine warmth that you feel toward a person, on a heart level, that causes you to seek out ways to be near them and show expression. Affection is infectious!  Affection has a strong drawing power. It makes a person want to be near you.

Close – as in “being connected to someone on an emotional level”. Being close means being vulnerable. You cannot be close to someone and protect yourself from getting hurt at the same time. Closeness requires giving of your deeper self and receiving of another’s deeper self.

Familiar – as in “awareness of someone’s way of being, their habits and methods”. Familiarity requires a time investment. You have to consciously observe someone over an extended period of time, in a number of different scenarios, in order to become familiar with the person. Case in point, you cannot have sex with someone you just met in a bar and call that intimacy because developing intimacy takes time.

Knowledge – as in “processing on a conscious level your familiarity with a person”. After investing the time to become familiar with a person, intimacy requires you to make use of that familiarity through knowledge. If you know someone’s habits and methods, you should put forth effort to accommodate them in a useful way – help them in their weaknesses and accentuate the person’s strengths.

Deep Understanding – as in “the wisdom to combine all of the above elements into a comprehensive knowledge and conscious awareness of who a person truly is on the deepest level, at the core of their being”. This requires you to have an intricate knowledge of a person’s hopes, dreams, wounds, weaknesses, strengths, fears, struggles, desires and qualities – in essence, the inner workings of their heart.

Expression – as in “finding it easy and enjoyable to share physically and outwardly the love, affection, closeness, familiarity, knowledge and deep understanding of intimacy”. There are plenty of ways to express intimacy without sexuality being involved. The first and most powerful expression of intimacy that most people experience is in the delivery room on the day of their birth, when they receive their mother’s first kiss and stroke on the cheek. This should help you understand that sex and intimacy are not synonymous, and in many cases have nothing to do with each other.

By the above explanation, it may be painfully obvious to you now that you are not experiencing true intimacy in your relationships. Perhaps there is a “coldness” in your relationship with your spouse. Maybe you have dated a number of different people over the years and just have not been able to connect with anyone in a meaningful way. But how can you expect to have intimacy with someone you are dating, or a spouse, which you have known only a portion of your life, when you are not intimate with the parents you have known your entire life? How can you expect to experience intimacy with a girl or guy you met only months ago, when you have no intimacy with the parents that raised you or the children that you raised?

If there is no genuine intimacy in any of your relationships, then you must realize that the common denominator is YOU. You are the problem; not the person you are married to or dating! Intimacy should exist in every important relationship in your life and be expressed in non-sexual ways. Intimacy can be expressed through how you look at a person, the tone in your voice, or even in how you hand them a plate. It is expressed through gifts, words of honor, surprises and sacrifices. It can be expressed through hugs, kisses and gentle touches. These are the first and most important expressions of intimacy that can be shared with any and all of your loved ones.

And guess what… YOU CANNOT EXPERIENCE SEXUAL INTIMACY, IF YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY! Sex should be reserved for and revered as the Ultimate Physical Expression of intimacy; not used to create intimacy, but instead to share intimacy that already exist. Instead of using sex to cover over a lack of true intimacy in your life; instead of trying to use sex to fill the painful void in your soul that exists because you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt, by keeping people at a safe distance – learn how to create intimacy outside of sex this year!

Start in your relationship with God. Next, learn how to be truly intimate with yourself. Use the guidelines in this article to take on the nature of intimacy in your relationship with your parents, children, and close family members. Share your new intimate nature with your friends, co-workers and church family. It is not until you learn the nature of intimacy, that you will be able to enjoy the experience of the Ultimate Physical Expression of intimacy with a significant other. So become intimacy – be an overall intimate person, and experience true intimacy in all of your relationships in this New Year. Enjoy the enrichment that intimacy brings into your life. Then you will be able to enjoy rich meaningful connections, even if you are single!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Have You Had a Good Cry Lately?

Are you one of those people who almost never cries even though you often feel pain? Do you find it hard to cry even when you want to? Are you afraid to cry? Do you think crying makes you weak?  Are you scared that once you start crying over the pain of your life that you may never recover? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then this article is for you.

One of the issues that I often encounter when coaching people is the inability — or really the unwillingness — of many people to cry. Crying is an absolutely essential part of healing and deliverance. People often times don’t know how to use tears. Tears can be a healing balm, or a poisonous venom depending on how you apply them.

In all thy getting, get an understanding.” Isn’t that what the Bible says? Even in crying you must have an understanding of why you are crying and what to expect as a result of your tears. One of the main reasons people fear crying is that they are afraid the pain of their past will be brought back to the surface and overwhelm them. But tears brought before The Father in brokenness and humility will not produce pain but will instead release pain.

Let me just take a moment to explain to you the revelation that is hidden in human tears in the hope that you will go ahead and have that good cry that is long overdue (smile).


aa transparent drop of fluid or hardened fluid matter (as resin)                                      
: undissolved material that has been changed into glass or a glassy substance by heat and fusion:   close crystallization by high firing to make non-porous

While most of us know the common definition of the word ‘tear’, did you know that a tear can also be a hard, non-porous substance?  A revelation really hit my spirit when I read these above definitions in Merriam Webster’s On-line Unabridged Dictionary. The revelation is this: tears that remain in your heart, constantly warmed by the heat of anger, become hardened residue that imprisons your heart in bitterness and pain.

You should be crying almost every day!

Ok, I know that sounds a little bit over the top, but please allow me to explain. I am certainly not suggesting that we all ought to be crying everyday for the rest of our lives here on earth. However as we continually go through seasons of transition, growth and/or healing – yes we should be crying often. Now let me back that up in scripture.

2He called a little child and had him stand among them.3And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mat 18:2-3)

Is not every true believer striving to enter into the Kingdom of God? Not heaven, but His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven:  that life and life more abundantly that we were promised by Jesus as a result of His coming? Of course we are; and Jesus Himself said that would only happen if we become like little children. Not just children, but little children. Being a mother of seven, if there is anything I can say with certainty it is this: LITTLE CHILDREN CRY ALMOST EVERYDAY!!!


Well, I’m glad you asked. One of the first things I present to my clients during coaching sessions is the necessity of crying over their childhood. When helping a client work through issues of sexual perversion for instance, I explain to them, “You didn’t just wake up one day and decide to be perverted. Perversion was injected into your heart before you had a chance to decide.”

The problem is that often times when that injection takes place in our lives, whether it is an injection of perversion, anger, depression, rejection or otherwise – we are often too young to realize that we should be outraged at the state of our lives. At a time of our existence as children when it would be as easy as one, two, three to grieve; we fail to understand that we should grieve because we don’t know that what is being done to us is wrong. It is not until we come to an age of understanding many years into our adulthood that we suddenly realize, “Hey, I had a mucked up childhood! Momma shouldn’t have done that too me! Daddy should have been there!”

Once the realization and understanding comes it will be dealt with one, two or all of three ways:

                  1) Numbness and denial

                  2) Depression and sadness

                  3) Outrage and anger

No matter how you slice it up though, the only way to work through it at that point is to cry those dormant tears that are locked away in your inner being; the tears that have become the glassy residue that has hardened your heart and interfered with your intimacy with God and relationships with people.

Still don’t believe me? Well guess what another definition for tear is: “a drop of clear saline fluid.” Did you know that saline is basically the salty element found in some water? It is saline water that is used to flush out wounds. The first thing the nurse in the ER does is find out how you got cut. Next, the nurse flushes out your wound to access the damage and prepare it for an expeditious and hopefully uneventful healing process.  In other words, through your tears you will wash away all of the debris and foreign substances that were injected into you throughout your life. The release of your tears, your saline water, will flush out your heart and rinse away the dead things that are covering up your festering wounds.

And here is another jewel of revelation: If you put saline water in a container and allow it to evaporate, you will be left with salt. Salt is a preservative. That means that everything that has been hidden in your dormant tears for all these many years has been preserved for such a time as this! You haven’t lost anything at all. God has preserved your joy. He has preserved your restoration. He has preserved your destiny. All has been preserved in your tears.

So go ahead, cry your heart out and become the salt of the earth that Jesus said you would be as one of His disciples!!! Below I have listed some scriptures for you to write down, memorize and meditate on. Don’t expect these scriptures to yield a change in you right away. But as you keep meditating on these scriptures daily and going before the Lord, your heart will be softened and you will be able to cry. I am confident that in time, whether it is a few days or a few months, the streams will begin to flow from your eyes and you will start to heal like you never thought you could!

Not a single one of your tears is ever overlooked by God. He sees each one and understands the significant meaning behind every fallen tear.

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.  Psalm 56:8

When you seek the Lord for deliverance you should seek him with tears. God resists the proud, but a broken spirit and a contrite heart will never be despised by God.

“In those days, at that time,” declares the LORD,
“the people of Israel and the people of Judah together
will go in tears to seek the LORD their God. Jer 50:4

Your tears create a noticeable fragrance that gets the Lord’s attention – they perfume the atmosphere with repentance and brokeness and God responds with His mercy and restoration.

 “And as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.” Luke 7:38

Jesus being no less than God Himself, had to come before the Father with tears when His deliverance was on the line. If He who was without sin had to cry, how much more must you and I cry?

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Hebrews 5:7

 When people treat you badly, you should never get bitter about it, nor should you turn to other people to offer you false comfort by joining in on your anger. You should pour out your tears to God, the one who is able to heal you.

 My friends scorn me, but I pour out my tears to God. Job 16:2

Understand that all of these scriptures teach you that if you really want to be heard in times of distress, in bitterness of soul, in the weakness of your sinful flesh, in the injustices of life… you must come before the Lord with your tears. He is so ready to hear you if you will just come to him in humility.

12 Hear my prayer, O Lord! Listen to my cries for help! Don’t ignore my tears.   Psalm 39:12

After your crying is over with, there will always be a great deliverance that comes about and a peace that comes to your soul.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. 8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,   my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, 9 that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living. Psalm 116:7-9 

Once all of the stress and pain that you have been carrying around for years is finally washed away through your tears — you find that crying often allows God to release healing to your body!

“Go back and tell Hezekiah, the leader of my people, ‘This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you…  2 Kings 20:5

When it is all said and done, after your crying is over, you will harvest the Lord’s Joy!

Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy! Psalm 126:5


Press through the pain and let the tears fall! You cannot harvest joy if you do not sow your tears.  


In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

What Are Your Surroundings Saying About Your Inner Man?

This is an excerpt from a previous blog written on October 11, 2009

Six months ago my house was so clean that you could eat out of my toilets. My papers were neatly filed on my desk. My clothes were categorized in my closet according to season. Each of my 7 children’s clothing items were labeled with their initials and folded precisely in their own drawers. Whatever I needed, I could easily find because everything had a place. Anything that was out-of-place was immediately spotted because disorder is so apparent within an orderly environment. Yes order emanated from every nook and cranny of my home, including every closet, under every bed and even in the garage.

Last week tears welled up in my eyes as frustration set in on me. My desk was so messy that I couldn’t even find something that I laid on it just moments earlier. The floors were so dirty that we needed to wear shoes in the house. My children’s clothes were scattered everywhere: under beds, in toy chests, under the couch and in drawers that they did not belong in. I couldn’t find anything without going on a scavenger hunt through piles and piles of clothes, papers and toys! Junk ( or what appeared to be junk due to the disregard with which it was treated) was shoved into every nook and cranny of the house. There was total disorder, complete chaos.

Today I spent 7 hours cleaning my room up. As I was sitting here at my clean desk reflecting on the labor I did today, which only got my room about 70% restored to what it was, I had an epiphany. My surroundings were a reflection of the state of my inner being. You see six months ago, I experienced a life-changing trauma. It was a devastating event that I was not even sure I would survive emotionally, as depression was suffocating me and insanity offered itself as a welcomed escape. Before that heart-stopping moment, I was in a place of total peace. I was operating in my purpose, sure of my destiny and enjoying the effectiveness of my existence on earth. But that all suddenly changed when I learned that one of my children was sexually assaulted by a family member. I was thrown into confusion, anger, sadness, etc…

Little by little and day by day, as I slipped deeper and deeper into inner turmoil and chaos; my surroundings began to change. It was not intentional. I tried to keep it all together as best as I could. I was still cleaning and it seemed that I was doing the same things that I had always done, but I wasn’t getting the same results. I realize now that I could have bought the best cleaning products on the market and cleaned daily. It wouldn’t have mattered. My soul was emitting chaotic energy and that energy controlled the temperature of my environment. As I look around me right now, I have those tears in my eyes again. But they are not tears of frustration this time. Instead they are tears of relief.

My surroundings in this almost clean room speak of the peace that is being restored and the inner order that is returning. I am not 100% quite yet, maybe only 70% like my room. Nonetheless I am pressing my way back into the energy of God’s grace. His rhythm is harmonizing with my soul and I see myself not only being restored, but becoming better than I ever was before!

What are your surroundings saying about your inner man?

In the Power of Love,

 Dr. Intimacy

 Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post

Are you looking for all the posts in the Understanding Intimacy Series? All the post links are below. Thanks for reading. Please remember to like the posts and share them on Facebook!

Understanding Intimacy Part 1: Why Did God Create Sexual Intimacy?

Understanding Intimacy Part 2: What We Learn About Worship Through Sex

Understanding Intimacy Part 3: How is the Practice of Communion Like Sex?

Understanding Intimacy Part 4: Naked and Not Ashamed

Understanding Intimacy Part 5: Getting Pregnant with God’s Will

Understanding Intimacy Part 5: Getting Pregnant with God’s Will

Continuing on with the Understanding Intimacy series we come to part 5. In this post I will share with you the 4th essential lesson that we can learn about our intimate relationship with God through human sexuality. This final lesson is so critical. Have you ever wondered why so many visions, dreams and prophetic words in your life have not yet come to pass? This is going to help you understand it in a way that you never have before! You have to learn how to conceive!

If you want to read the other entries in this series please check out this post “The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post“. 

4. The Creative Power of Worship

The fourth thing that sexual intimacy in the natural teaches us about worshiping God is that we have creative power when we join together with God intimately in worship. Sexual intercourse in marriage not only demands monogamy, establishes covenant and promotes intimacy, but it also gives a couple creative power. The love between a husband and wife can cause a baby to be born here on earth.

The power to create a baby does not come merely from sperm and egg. Something more powerful must first exist in order to afford conception an opportunity. In other words, before a sperm and egg can meet to form an embryo, something has to bring that man and woman together to engage in sex. Sexual intimacy in a marriage ordained by God is fueled by the love that exists between the man and the woman, and it is the power of that love that brings them together.

Let us consider that for a moment. In essence, the love between a husband and wife cannot be seen, heard, touched, tasted or smelt. To us that live in a seen and tangible world love is more of a “concept” than a “thing”. Something is only real in this realm when we can interact with it using our five senses. Yet, the intangible and unseen concept of love can be manifested, or made real here on earth when the sexual intimacy that is fostered by that love causes a living, breathing human being to be conceived and born.

Before the baby is ever born, it already exists inside of the bodies of its parents. The love that the parents share already exists too. But neither the baby nor the love can be seen with the naked eye or actually brought into manifestation, until the couple comes together in sexual intimacy and the husband deposits what is inside of him into his wife. It is as if once the baby is born you can actually “see” the love, by seeing what the physical expression of that love (sexual intimacy) has produced. Even though the existence of the love and the baby was always certain in eternity, a physical vessel was needed to create something that could be considered real here in the earth realm. Thus, the unseen love and the unseen baby, is manifested using our seen, physical vessels.

In just the same way, God’s unseen Kingdom is brought into manifestation here on earth through our seen, physical vessels. We know that Elohim is the Creator of all things and that in the beginning He created everything that we now see through that which could not be seen – the power of Christ (Gen chap 1, Heb 11:3). But after creating all things, He ordained the laws of nature and He now adheres to those laws that He Himself set in order. Therefore, in order for God to manifest things that exists in the spirit realm (the unseen world) here in the earthly realm (the seen world), He must use physical vessels.

Everything that ever has, does now or ever will exist here on this earth has always eternally existed in God’s spiritual Kingdom. Yet by His own sovereignty, the Father chose to use us as a way to get it from “there” to “here”. When we join together intimately with God in worship, we have the same creative power spiritually that an earthly husband and wife does naturally, when they join together intimately with one another in sex. When we worship Him, He makes a deposit in us. His Spirit, His power and all that He is, is implanted into us. We conceive and give birth to His Kingdom and His will and cause it to be done here on earth just as it is in heaven (Mat 6:10).

Why is it necessary though for us to have this creative power spiritually? Just because The Sovereign Lord ordained it so! It cannot be done any other way. Outside of modern medical technology, the way God originally designed it is that without sexual intercourse, a couple cannot conceive a baby – they have no natural, creative power. Without us worshiping God intimately we cannot conceive His Kingdom – we have no spiritual, creative power! The same way that babies exist in the bodies of their parents even before they are ever born, God created in us seeds of greatness. Seeds of the power, majesty, splendor, greatness and glory of His Kingdom already exist within us, but He must first enter into us and fertilize those seeds in order for them to ever become anything more – anything real. He can only fertilize what is in us when we come together with Him intimately in worship, and then we together with the Almighty Creator, can be used as vessels to manifest His creative power.

Just think about it. God could have multiplied the earth in any way that He chose. Every so often a human being could have just popped up out of the soil like a plant. So why did He chose to do it through the process of sexual intercourse and procreation? He designed it this way because He wanted us to understand our creative power when one with Him! How wonderful is our Lord to share with us His awesome power to create. Hallelujah!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Understanding Intimacy Part 4: Naked and Not Ashamed

Continuing the series on Understanding Intimacy we come to part 4 today, the third lesson that we learn about our worship through sexual intimacy. This is the most powerful of the four lessons for me. Understanding this revelation changed my relationship with God forever and changed my entire perspective on intimacy and what a relationship between a husband and wife should be like. If you are planning to marry, the quality of relationship described in this post is what you should be looking for in your mate. If it’s not there, work to get it or call it off! To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.

The Intimacy of Worship in Spirit

The third lesson that we learn through human sexual relations is about the intimacy of worshiping God. A man and woman who are truly in love enjoy the act of sexual intimacy immensely. They consent that their bodies belong to one another (1 Cor 7:4) and they use every part of those bodies and all five of their senses to express their love and desire. They touch, smell, taste, hear and see their lover during sexual intimacy. Not out of a lustful desire, but instead out of their love for one another, they are easily aroused sexually. Unashamed, they embrace in nakedness to explore one another in body, soul and spirit.

Through intercourse two lovers become one in all three realms, as they completely give themselves over to each other. Likewise, God wants to own us and wants us to give Him ALL of ourselves in worship. He wants us to be easily aroused – ready to worship Him at any moment. He does not want us to come to Him ashamed and covered, but instead He wants us in spiritual nakedness to allow Him to freely explore and touch every part of our spirits. He desires to freely and fully give Himself to us as well. He wants to reveal Himself to us. He desires oneness with us His creation, but we have to be willing to embrace Him. Who really enjoys sexual intimacy when their partner is resisting them?

For scriptural proof that the intimacy of worship is essential to God’s heart we can look at John 4:23, “… true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship Him.” How important must worship be if the God who is sovereign and owns everything is actually seeking true worshipers? Wow! To worship God in spirit means to give Him everything in you as you worship Him not from the head, or even from the flesh, but from your heart.

In the natural there is a difference between “making love” and merely “having sex”. Having sex is a pleasurable physical experience but is empty of heart and soul. When a couple that is in love has sex, they do it with their entire beings. It is not just a physical act, but instead is the Ultimate Physical Expression of a deep abiding love that comes from the heart.  True worshipers are those that worship The Lord in spirit, in the same way a husband and wife who are truly in love share sexual intimacy in the natural. We worship with our hearts and not just our bodies.

To worship Yahweh in truth means to come humbly but boldly to Him, in the sincerity of all that you are; knowing that He will accept you because of the great love shared between you and Him. Have you ever wondered how a very attractive woman ends up with a “hard on the eyes” man? Her love covers all of his faults; in her eyes he is beautiful just as he is. This is the revelation of Adam and Eve being before the Lord “naked and not ashamed”. A loving couple has no problem standing completely nude before one another even in bright, revealing lights, regardless of the condition of their bodies.

Can you imagine the shock of a man thinking that a woman has naturally long hair and then during sex he accidentally pulls off her wig? (Laugh). It sounds funny I know, but this is how we usually present ourselves to God. Of course, He is not shocked when our “wigs come off”; He is just disappointed that we thought we needed them. When a woman knows that she is truly loved, she doesn’t have to go to bed with make-up on, or wear wigs and fancy sex outfits to try to present an image that she thinks is more acceptable than the truth of who she is! This is how God wants us to come to Him, in truth, allowing His love to cover all of our faults. We are beautiful in His eyes just the way we are. To find this kind of worship is rare, and that is why Yahweh is actually seeking those that will worship Him this way. Worshipers of this kind are actually restoring back to Him what He lost in the garden at the fall, vessels that will stand before Him naked and unashamed – allowing Him to enjoy the perfect design that He created you with – not marring your beauty with fig leaves – which are nothing more than dead trees.

You show me a couple that lacks sexual intimacy in their relationship, and I will show you a couple that is disconnected, does not know each other well soulfully or as friends, does not enjoy spending time with one another and misrepresents one another in the presence of others. It is the exact same way for believers that do not worship God intimately. Given that we are His vessels and representation here on earth, you can understand how crucial it is that we stay connected to Him through worship. We have to stay connected to The Vine!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Understanding Intimacy Part 3: How is the Practice of Communion Like Sex?

I am continuing my series on understanding intimacy. If you have not read parts 1 and 2 of the series, please read them before reading this article. We ended part 1 with the revelation that there are 4 lessons that God wants to teach us through the sexual intimacy of a husband and wife, according to His perfect design for sex. This post today is about the second lesson that we learn through the sexual intimacy of a husband and wife. To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.

Establishing and Strengthening Blood Covenant

The second lesson that we can learn from the act of lovemaking is the great importance of worshiping God for the establishing and maintaining of our covenant with Him. The most critical purpose of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is to strengthen and re-establish the covenant bond and partnership between them. Friendships may come a dime a dozen, but covenant relationships are rare. That is part of what makes the marital relationship so special, it is a covenant relationship that is established in blood.

Let’s examine this. It is medically known that the first time a woman has intercourse, she sheds blood. This can happen at times other than the first as well because it is an increase in blood flow to the woman’s genital area that enables arousal and lubrication before and during sex. Blood is also the driving force behind the erection and ejaculation of a man. His penis is actually made up of tiny blood vessels that swell with blood to cause an erection. This blood stimulates all of the sensitive nerve endings in his genital area helping him to maintain the erection until the pleasure build up causes him to release his seed. When it comes right down to it, sex is all about blood flow!

What is the significance of this? Well, in the Bible we learn that the most powerful covenant that can be made is one that is established in blood (Ex 24:8, Zech 9:11, Mat 26:28, Heb 9:18-22). Taking into consideration the blood flow involved in sex acts, understand that a blood covenant is made between a husband and wife when they first have sex – regardless of virginity or lack thereof. Through sexual intimacy they become partners to one another for life. A blood covenant can only be broken by death or by the establishing of a new blood covenant which cancels out the old one. Thus every time that couple connects their bodies and blood in intercourse, they are strengthening the established bond and covenant between them.

We too are in a blood covenant (through the Blood of Jesus) with the Father. Just as is the case with a husband and wife, each time we worship Him we re-establish and strengthen our bond and spiritual covenant with Him. We see a picture of this parallel even in the practice of communion where we partake of the Body and Blood of the Messiah (Luke 22:19-20). Scripture tells us we are to do this “in remembrance” of Jesus, who brought us the New Covenant. During sex a couple takes in each other’s bodies and also drink in each other’s blood (by the exchange of fluids that occur during open-mouthed kissing). You take communion every time you have sex!

This is a hint as to why there is a natural drive for sexual intercourse after an argument. Discord weakens the bond that holds the covenant together, sexual intercourse re-establishes it. Couples NEED to share intercourse frequently, and we likewise must worship God frequently. If you were to observe a couple that has poor and infrequent sexual relations you would find that couple does not understand the concepts of partnership, loyalty and commitment in marriage. (There are always exceptions due to illness, distance, age, etc., but any close, intimate couple had frequent and enjoyable intercourse at some point in their marriage.) Unsatisfactory sexual intimacy is the number one cause for infidelity. This is not because the physical aspect of the sex is so important, but is instead because without the intimacy that sex represents, all other aspects of the relationship falls apart.

It is so important for a married couple to have mutually enjoyable sexual intimacy often. Each time they lay together and partake of one another’s bodies and blood, they are reminded of the covenant they made to one another as husband and wife. This bond is strengthened as time and tribulations reveal their commitment to one another. It is equally as important for us to experience mutually enjoyable worship with God to help us remember our covenant and remain faithful to Him.

“24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”  26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes. (1 Cor 11:24-26, NKJV)”

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Non-Sexual Adultery

What is adultery actually? Well the literal definition according to most English dictionaries is to have sex with someone other than your spouse when you are married. We don’t need to expound upon that definition too much, as it is pretty apparent exactly what that means. The only insight that I would add to this literal definition is that sexual contact, even when it does not include full penetration, is unequivocally adultery!

I can remember this one couple that I encountered. The guy was accused of adultery, but he and the other woman in question disagreed on whether or not they had actually had sex.  She said that they did have sex, but he said that they didn’t. He concluded that even though they were both but naked in bed together, kissing, humping and climaxing – it didn’t count because he only ‘peeked his head in’ without fully penetrating her. OK I’m sorry for that graphic description, but the ludicrous guise of deception that people are under sometimes is just astonishing to me. We had to spend months worth of counseling just to establish whether or not sex had actually occurred between he and his mistress, before we could move on to any real deliverance sessions! I am not usually this descriptive and won’t be often,  nor do I invite comments of such nature. Everyone once in a while it is just necessary to get really raw though, because someone reading this was offended at the guy I just described… until they remembered when they did the same thing! So let’s just be honest with ourselves my brothers and sisters, so that real deliverance can occur in our lives without delay.

But anyway, back to my topic. Outside of the obvious literal meaning of adultery, there are other ways that adultery can manifest itself in one’s marriage.

If you are married, pornography would definitely fall under the umbrella of adultery for you. Through pornography you are creating a sexual connection with another person. People watch pornography because it is sexually stimulating. As a married person, you should only be receiving sexual stimulation from your own husband or wife. That is why Yeshua states in Matthew 5:27-28, “27You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Pornography is commonly accompanied by masturbation and on-going sexual fantasy. Long after the video is no longer being viewed, you are repeatedly committing adultery in your heart and mind.

 There is also the most subtle form of adultery that has as of lately claimed more formerly faithful wives than you might imagine. This form that I am talking about is commonly referred to as emotional adultery. This happens when you develop and nurture strong feelings of attraction, love or friendship with someone other than your spouse. A frequent doorway for this type of adultery to enter into one’s marriage is through the forging of an internet relationship, which often times at the onset seems like such an innocent and safe way to make an emotional connection with someone. It also frequently occurs in close working relationships, between close family friends and with spiritual leaders or mentors as well. Really, any ongoing communication between two people can lead to this type of adultery if not carefully monitored.

For the broadest understanding of what adultery is – always remembering that we are to consider first the motive of the heart before we consider anything else – it is anyone or anything that you become intimate with. Yes, I said anyTHING too! Marriage is a sacred covenant that you enter into with the promise to love, honor and cherish above all else. Furthermore, don’t forget that marriage is designed to be the symbol of our relationship with The Creator. Just as NO one or NO thing should ever come before God in your life – aside from your intimate, personal relationship with Him – NO one or NO thing should ever come before your spouse.

You should not have a closer friend; you should have no secrets; you should have no greater love; no greater intimacy; no greater oneness; no greater loyalty, commitment or connection of any kind; than that which you have with your spouse. This includes people – especially your family and even your children. This includes places – such as your job and even more especially the church. And this includes things – such as sports, hobbies and even ministry pursuits! Don’t get an intimate relationship with God confused with public ministry. Your intimate relationship with God should always come before your relationship with your spouse – your public ministry never should!

Any bond or intimacy that you create with anyone or anything that takes away from the esteemed first place of honor that should be reserved and dedicated to your spouse alone, is a betrayal and a violation of your sacred marriage covenant. Let me put this disclaimer out there: I am not endorsing the use of this revelation to offset a free-fall of divorces on the grounds of “non-sexual adultery”. However, I believe that the absence of this understanding is destroying more marriages than any other weapon in this present day. The spirit of adultery is present in more marriages than we can possibly conceive. Surely, when the spirit is present and prevalent in subtle, non-sexual manifestations of adultery – it is likely that sexual adultery will follow. That is why it is so important that you grasp this broader understanding of what adultery really is.

How do you feel about what I shared in this article? Have you been a victim of non-sexual adultery or maybe a committer of such or is this absolute gibberish to you? Let me know your thoughts.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Understanding Intimacy Part 2: What We Learn About Worship Through Sex

I am continuing my series on understanding intimacy. If you have not read part 1 of the series, please read it before reading this article. We ended part 1 with the revelation that there are 4 lessons that God wants to teach us through the sexual intimacy of a husband and wife, according to His perfect design for sex. The next four posts in this series, beginning with this one, will reveal what these four lessons are. To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.

Lesson 1: Worship only one God – the True and Living God

The first and I believe the most important purpose of sexual intimacy is to help us understand that we are to worship only one God – the True and Living God that created us. We learn in the scriptures above that just as a married person is to have sex only with their one spouse, we are to worship only our one Lord. God implemented sexual intimacy as an act to be performed between one man and one woman only. This is obvious because He took only one rib from Adam’s body to create only one woman (Gen 2:21-22). There was no other man on earth that Adam had to share his wife with!

Every other activity that spouses do together can be done with someone else as well. Sex is the only act that a spouse cannot do (lawfully in the sight of the True God) with any other human being. Understanding that sexual intimacy is equivalent to worship, we can easily see that this is true in our relationship with God as well. We can interact with others in many of the same ways in which we interact with God. We talk to God – we can talk to people; we seek God – we can seek things; we praise God – we can praise accomplishments; we desire God – and we can desire people too.

Performing any of these acts toward people or other pursuits is perfectly lawful in God’s sight. Worship is the one thing that The Lord tells us we are to do to Him and Him alone, as is stated in Exodus 34:14, “You must worship no other gods, but only The Lord, for he is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you.” So you can see how sexual intimacy between husband and wife in the natural is symbolic of spiritual intimacy (worship) between God and humanity in the spirit. Just think of how jealous and hurt a man or woman is when they know that their spouse has been unfaithful to them. Our Lord feels the same way when we worship any other god (a god can be an object, person, pursuit or activity) beside Him.

I will post lesson number two in the next article on this series. And remember, you can read the full revelation on this topic in my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook.” which can be found on

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Understanding Intimacy Part 1: Why Did God Create Sexual Intimacy?

Anything you don’t understand, you are bound to abuse. That is why scripture admonishes us in Proverbs 4:7 to get understanding in all that we get; for wisdom truly is the principle thing. Before you can can really grasp anything else I write about on this blog, you are going to have to get a good grasp on the core foundational revelation upon which this whole ministry was built.  I will be sharing this revelations with you in the “Understanding Intimacy Series” which will be contained in a number of posts. If you plan on being a regular follower of this blog and really want a deeper understanding of wholesome intimacy and deliverance from sexual perversion, study this series carefully. All of the information in this series is taken directly from my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook: Updated 2012 Edition which can be ordered at” To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.

I believe that the three greatest weaknesses of humanity in the flesh are: 1) The need to eat; 2) The need to sleep; and 3) The urge to have sex. I note these three needs to emphasize how the spirits of sexual perversion work. They take advantage of one of the greatest weaknesses of the flesh – our God-given desire to have sex.

God told man and woman in the book of Genesis to, “…Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth…(Gen 1:28)” There is of course spiritual significance to what God said to them on that day, but there is also natural, practical significance. In laymen’s terms God was basically saying, “I command you to have sex and lots of it!” This may be a little hard to swallow because of our perception of sex. We generally think of sex as something forbidden, naughty or perverse. Let us consider it practically though.

In order  for them to multiply (in its most literal sense meaning to have children) they would have to engage in intercourse to afford conception an opportunity. Then in order to replenish the earth, which is a tall order to fill, they would have to engage in intercourse often so that they might improve the likelihood of frequent conception. Another point to consider is the fact that when God gave this command people did not wear clothing. All of us who are, or once were, sexually active would probably agree that the absence of clothing often times stirs sexual desire. This is especially true if you are in a relationship with someone who you are highly attracted to and in love with. There is no reason to believe there were any exceptions to this basic instinct at the dawn of creation. Yahweh is a very deliberate God and all of this was by no means a coincidence! Thus, the truth of the matter is that God created us to frequently engage in and enjoy sexual intimacy.

What we have to realize is that because man was created in the image and likeness of the Lord God Almighty (Gen 1:26), humanity was created in Holy Perfection. Everything about man (and woman) was good and pure at the time of creation, including the act of sex. But once sin entered into the earth, it perverted everything God had created on the earth. How did sin enter into all of creation on earth considering that humanity alone committed sin? This is because all of creation on earth was under man’s dominion.

Once humanity became corrupt, all that we had dominion over became corrupt along with us. Sin had entered into man and corrupted us in our entirety. The corruption of sin caused us to be separated from Elohim the Creator and without that connection to God, all of creation and everything about it became perverse and evil. That is one of the reasons why David says in the book of Psalms, “I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. (Ps 51:5, KJV)” The act of sex is just another part of what was perverted by sin at the fall of humanity. So now we understand that God actually ordained sexual intimacy and that sex is not bad, but we still need to understand why Yahweh implemented sexual intimacy as a part of the normal routine of humanity.

First off, it is important to understand that everything that exists in the natural world exists first in the spiritual world. The Bible teaches us that God is a Spirit and indicates that His Kingdom is a spiritual one (John 4:24; 14:17; Mat 12:28, 16:26). The earth and all it entails was created to be a natural and physical emulation of God’s spiritual Kingdom. That is why nature was made with such splendor and glorious detail, such precision and perfection. God has given us everything in the natural to help us understand something about His Kingdom and the spirit realm, which is the realm of eternity and is also where the true existence of each and every one of us lives. As a part of this natural representation of Him and His Kingdom, God implemented sexual intimacy in marriage, between man and woman to teach humanity something about the spirit realm. More specifically as far as sex and marriage is concerned, it is to teach us about our relationship with Him.

Through study and revelation of the scriptures we learn that sexual intimacy in the natural is equivalent to worship in the spirit. We can see this by looking at some scriptures in the third chapter of Jeremiah. (Keep in mind that ‘Israel’ and ‘Judah’ were used as names for the collective chosen nation of (Yahweh/God in the Old Testament). “6…Have you seen what fickle Israel does? Like a wife who commits adultery, Israel has worshiped other gods7…And though her faithless sister Judah saw this, 8 she paid no attention. She saw that I had divorced faithless Israel and sent her away. But now Judah, too, has left me and given herself to prostitution.

Scriptures similar to these, referring to idol worship as adultery or some other type of illicit sexual act, can be found all throughout the books of the prophets. In both the Old and New Testament of the Bible the people of God are commonly referred to as “wife” or “bride” (Isa 62:5, Jer 2:2, 2 Cor 11:2, Eph 5:23).Marriage is clearly a symbolic picture of our relationship with God, and theBible makes a strong and clear comparison between sex and worship. Therefore, there is no doubt that sexual intimacy in the natural is equivalent to worship in the spirit or “spiritual intimacy”.

In certain scriptures, we can even see a strong parallel between Adam’s relationship to Eve and our relationship to God, before sin entered in. In Genesis 2:22-24 it reads, 22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. 24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (NLT)” Then if we take a look at Ephesians 1:4 it reads, 4Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love. (AMP)”

While restraining myself from writing an entire book expounding upon the depth of revelation hidden in these two scriptures, I just want to point out a couple of nuggets. The woman — the wife — was taken out of the man. We the bride of Christ, were taken out of Him. The woman was made in the man’s own likeness. We were made in the likeness of God. The woman was made just for the man and set apart just for him.  In the same way, we were made just for The LORD and set apart just for Him. Lastly, the man leaves his mother and father to unite with his wife and become one flesh with her. Likewise Yeshua (Jesus) left His Father to unite with us, His bride, and he became flesh with us!

Wow, I get excited every time I read that to know that God wants to be that intimate with us! And this is the foundation upon which I minister on sex, intimacy and relationships. There are four things about the spirit realm, God’s Kingdom and our relationship with Him that we can learn through marital relations and sexual intimacy. We will explore those four things over the next 4 posts in this series. Check back for part 2 and don’t miss a thang!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Regional Strongholds

I want to broaden your perspective today. Have you ever considered the “energy” around you when you travel to a new location? By location, I mean any place outside of your home. What is the energy like on your job? How about your church? What about the energy in your city compared d to the energy in another city that you have visited?

When we get right down to it, what we refer to as a “demon” or “spirit” is simply “energy”.  A demon is a force of negative energy. Satan is the ultimate source of all negative energy. An angel is a force of positive energy. The Lord I AM is the ultimate source of all positive energy. Negative energy can take on different forms: anger, hatred, violence, depression, discouragement, etc. Positive energy is likewise: joy, peace, love, charity, unity and such.

The dominating form of negative energy in an area is what I call a “Regional Stronghold”. With a gift of discernment, or spiritual insight, you can sense the regional stronghold of an area. Most people do not have spiritual insight though. However, you can still ascertain what the regional stronghold of an area is by evaluating the activity around you. Is there a high murder rate? Is there a higher percentage of poverty or domestic abuse or teenage pregnancy? Do people seem to be generally angry, sad or detached?

The most prominent emotional state, religious beliefs and dominating social issues in an area are clues to what the regional strongholds are. As you journey through life, it is very important that you learn how to pay attention to regional strongholds. They can have a profound impact on your mood, behavior, perception and productivity and easily transform unsuspecting victims into their likeness. As you read my bookThe Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook, you will learn more about how spirits of sexual perversion are responsible for so much more negative activity, than just the physical acts of illicit sex that they influence.

For instance, America is a nation that is laden with spiritual fornication. We sing “God Bless America” at every major event; yet at the same time we promote same-sex marriages, abortion, drunkenness, witchcraft, violence, gluttony… and the list goes on and on. We want the pleasures of God without making any type of sacrifice to commit to Him. This country wants His blessings, but not His Law. We want His protection, but don’t want to honor His name.

This is the country where musicians that sing about and glorify every damnable thing in satan’s kingdom can say, “I would like to thank God for this” when they win a Grammy.     As I explain in the book, under the influence of fornication you readily “acknowledge” God, it’s just that you have no intimacy with Him. Fornication is definitely one of the dominating regional strongholds that govern this country, which means that every corporation, organization, church, home and individual human being  is highly susceptible to its influence.

Once you read the book and learn more about the different spirits of sexual perversion, make it part of your study course to look for the manifestations of spiritual perversion in the places you visit from now on. Look for it on your job, in your church, and at your friend’s homes. It will probably surprise you how much they show up around you. Please realize that these regional strongholds are a powerful, massive force of negative energy that will war for your deliverance every day.

The victory is already yours, but awareness and vigilance is the key to claiming it. Know also that as much as there is negative energy around you, there is positive energy, or angels, around you even more so. The more intimate you become with God, the more you will recognize and be able to take advantage of the force of protection He has built around.

In the Power of Love,

 Dr. Intimacy

 Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.