When the Preacher’s Child is Gay: Homosexuality in the Church

What do you do when you’ve poured your life out to preach the Gospel and your child announces that he or she is gay? What do you do when you are a preacher’s kid and you don’t believe the same thing your parents believe? How do we overcome homosexuality in families and churches without condemning each other or compromising our convictions? Dr. Intimacy had to face this very difficult challenge in her own family. Join her and her eldest son Ja’Keim Haniah, as they have a transparent and intimate dialogue about their struggle with these issues.

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Is Sexual Sin Caused by a Spirit?

While visiting another blog that addresses homosexuality amongst “so-called believers” (that is the author’s sentiment, not necessarily mine); I was struck by a statement that the author made. He was debating the existence of “the spirit of homosexuality”, claiming that people used the idea of demonic possession as an excuse to continue on in sin.  In his opinion, people sin by choice alone, influenced solely by their own sin nature and the spirit of lust. He was particularly disturbed that he had observed Pastor Benny Hinn “casting out” a spirit of homosexuality. And it may be good to mention that the gentleman that authored the article, formerly lived as a homosexual and has since dedicated himself to being a voice against it. Needless to say, he is very passionate about what he shares. His view is simply this, “There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”  

I thought his article brought up a very good question: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

I tend to agree with pastor Benny on this point. I do believe there is a spirit of homosexuality. As a matter of fact, I believe that nearly every sinful or demonic act is influenced by a particular type of demonic spirit. The author of the aforementioned article, as well as many other people, focus too greatly on how demons are named in the bible. When the truth of the matter is, the names of demons are not all that significant; it is their function and their type that matters. So you may not always see demons “named” in the Bible, but their functions and types are clearly outlined. In other words, their type is made plain by what they do; the fruit they produce in the life of the person they are affecting.

How often did we see YHshua (Jesus) cast demons out of people to heal them of an illness? “When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick.”  Mat 8:16, NKJV

Even in the case of Mary Magdalene, she was delivered from prostitution by the casting out of 7 demons. Now when He rose early on the first day of the week, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom He had cast seven demons.” Mark 7:9, NKJV (Her prostitution is “implied” in other scriptures. She was referred to specifically as “an especially wicked sinner”.)

In actuality,  the bible very seldom identified demonic spirits by a name.  Evil spirits were identified as being – evil, wicked, unclean, perverse and so on – but seldom by an actual distinct name.  And Jesus summoned to Him His twelve disciples and gave them power and authority over unclean spirits, to drive them out, and to cure all kinds of disease and all kinds of weakness and infirmity.” Mat 10:1, AMP

Ok… So if there is now a clear understanding that demons are acknowledged, but not necessarily named, in scripture – let’s deal with the next point:“There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”

This statement actually made me laugh. It was borderline ridiculous, in my opinion. We do not need different spirits or “type spirits” of righteousness; such as a “spirit of heterosexuality” (if heterosexuality is being implied to be a good thing in this instance, within the confines of a marriage). We don’t need a “spirit of kindness”, “spirit of truth”, “spirit of sobriety”, etc.  In order to live righteously, there is only need of One Spirit and that is, The Holy Spirit. All righteous living is a result of the Spirit of  YHWH God at work in our lives. He is the Spirit of Truth, Spirit of Love, Spirit of Obedience… He is the very source of all that is good and right; including pure, loving intimacy between a husband and wife (heterosexuality).

In terms of heterosexual sin, sex taking place outside of the confines of marriage, that influence would be typed as a “spirit of fornication”. But in essence at the end of the day, all sexual sin – all sin of any type for that matter – is influenced by  “the spirit of lust”. The term “spirit of lust” is actually the very definition of  ‘satan’. So all sin is influenced by the spirit of satan, and likewise all righteousness is influenced by “the Spirit of YHWH God”! But the Spirit of YHWH God is omni-present because He can be everywhere, and in everyone all at once. The spirit of satan is not so. He and his cohorts are limited to influencing or indwelling only one person at a time. So satan sends out his workers like soldiers, in groups specifically assigned and trained to do (or cause) specific acts of disobedience and/or types of oppression.

So the question is: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

The answer is: Yes and No! 

Just as the presence of the Holy Spirit can cause you to live righteously, the presence of a “Helly” spirit can cause you to live wickedly. I believe that ignorance concerning the workings of demonic spirits in our lives causes so many Christians to live a defeated life. Identifying an evil spirit does not give us an excuse to sin; it gives us ammunition to stop sinning! Naming a spirit according to its type, is just a way of specifying how the spirit of satan is working in your life more precisely. This is actually very empowering, giving insight into what weaknesses the enemy takes advantage of, to interfere with the abundance of our lives – spirit, soul and body! After all, YHshua never cast satan out of anyone, he always cast out demons. Nor does scripture say he cast “lust” out of Mary Magdalene. It says he cast out seven demons.

My only precaution on the ‘no’ side of my answer would be using the word “cause”, since you can only be “influenced” to sin, instead of forced. We all get to choose our own path and which spirit’s influence we give in to (unless one is truly “possessed” from childhood – but that’s another topic!) So although different spirits of evil may be the cause of sin in your life, it is because of your own choice that such sin is actually manifested.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2012 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Can A Person Be Born Homosexual?

The dictionary describes homosexuality as a strong attraction for the same-sex. That definition is too broad. A definition that broad lends itself to labeling everyone that has ever had a sexual thought about the same gender as homosexual. An attraction, which is simply a feeling, would not in and of itself put you in the category of homosexuality – anymore than being attracted to someone underage categorizes you as a pedophile, or getting sexually aroused when you see two dogs have sex justifies labeling you under bestiality. Be that as it may, you are certainly “at-risk” of becoming homosexual if you experience strong, same-sex attraction.  And perhaps you are actually homosexual, just having not given in to the physical act of sex as of yet. If you are doing it in your heart and mind, you have already lost the battle.

The question is often posed, “Can a person be born homosexual?” This is a good question and the answer is a simple and emphatically clear – Yes and No!

Yes, you can be born with an inexplicable inclination toward “reverse-gender” behaviors and same-sex attraction. Let me explain how I know this. I have given birth to seven children. At the time that I am writing this, my youngest is four years old and my oldest is 17. Having had the experience of being involved in training this small army of humanity, I can with certainty say that human beings are born with a vast array of personality traits. These traits range greatly from those most honorable, to those least desired.

One of my children for instance, is the very epitome of joy, and she has always loved to share this joy with any and every one. Since infancy, she has had the ability to transfer feelings of joy to others because she has such a strong energy of happiness emanating from her being. At the same time, she is insanely jealous – more so than any of my other children. Her longing to make people feel good, also causes her to demand to be the center of attention at all times. Now I have another child that is naturally strong and independent. He has from infancy, preferred to be alone. He taught himself to walk at eight months of age, while I was busy trying to teach him to crawl. Yet, he was an unusually angry baby – throwing terrible tantrums; getting easily frustrated; and banging his head in fits of rage. He was always like this, although he had no diagnosed medical issues of any kind. He had the ability to try the patience of a saint with his anger issues! So if the question is, “Can someone be born with negative personality traits and emotional challenges?”why, heavens yes!

Remember that it was explained that an attraction, same-sex or otherwise, is no more than a feeling. That is why people fall in and out of love in marriage. They felt attracted to their spouse at one point, and then at another time no longer felt attracted. Attraction is a fluid emotional state that can be easily affected by external influences and deliberately controlled. With any abnormal or unpleasant personality trait, characteristic or emotional state that a human being may be born with, every attempt should be made to correct it. Homosexual tendencies are no different.

 My son that had the anger issues is now 10. He had many troubled years at school because of his anger. Should I have just allowed him to succumb to his anger because he was born that way? Should I have just told his teachers after he threw books across the room, “Well that is just who he is”? No! He would have been in juvenile detention by the time he was eight. I had to teach him how to manage his strength and use it to his advantage. I used prayer, love, Biblical teachings and sought professional help as well. My friendly daughter that will walk up to a total stranger and hug them like they are her long-lost relative; should I let her think it is okay to be friendly to everyone? Should I not teach her to curtail her friendliness for the sake of keeping her safe from predators? And concerning her jealously – do I not have a responsibility to teach her that though she is a gift from God, she is not His only gift to the world?

You see my point is that just because someone is born with an inclination toward homosexuality, does not mean that the person should not be redirected toward what has been the established order and law of nature since creation. All human beings are born in an imperfect state. Yet if I have a child that is born blind, would I not do everything that I could to give her sight if it were possible? If I have a child who is born deaf, should I not pursue obtaining hearing aids so he can hear? Blindness or deafness does not diminish the value of my child at all. Yet they are abnormalities that will indeed make life much more challenging and difficult for that child. Therefore, if it can be corrected without harming the child in some detrimental way, I will opt for that correction.

The one thing that I am certainly not going to do is pretend that there is no issue, or try to force my child to believe that he or she is “typical”, when all of creation is evidence against that. This will only serve to shroud that child in confusion and darkness. It will render him or her helpless in their ability to make accurate decisions, with mindfulness of the maladies that will make life more challenging for them in certain instances.  By helping them confront their differences and challenges head-on, I empower them to either eradicate those challenges, or to overcome them by using other strengths!

So that is the ‘yes’ part of the answer; now to address the ‘no’ part. Using the example of my formally angry child, (who is almost as gentle as lamb now, by the way) let us continue. I said that he was born with an inclination toward feeling angry and frustrated. If he grew up to kill, could I then say he was born a killer? No. He was born with a bad temper, which was not his choice. How he responds and reacts to that anger; is his choice. If he responds to feelings of anger by killing someone, that is a choice that he makes. Feeling angry is not sinful; killing someone on the other hand, is indeed wrong. Homosexuality is the same. Having feelings of attraction toward someone of the same-sex is not sinful, responding to those feelings through sexual contact with the same-sex, is indeed wrong.

So yes, you can be born with an inclination toward homosexuality. But in order for your feelings of same-sex attraction to cross the border of actually being homosexual – you have to deliberately and consciously act upon them. This also means that you cannot become homosexual through molestation. If someone puts heroin in your food and exposes you to the drug, that does not by default make you a drug addict. You will only become a drug addict if you choose, to yield to the temptation that the experience produces in you, to use heroin again. You then become a drug addict by choice. Homosexual attractions could be inherent, but a homosexual lifestyle is a choice.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.