So, National Loneliness Day… uh… er… um… I mean Valentine’s Day, is almost here once again. If you are lucky enough to be in a good relationship, you are probably looking forward to this day. But for millions of single people, this is a dreaded time of year. Let’s face it, you’re just recovering from holiday loneliness. For months you were bombarded with images of happy families and couples, and now, before you’ve even had a chance to enjoy the reprieve, it starts all over again. It seems like “love is in the air”, for everyone except you. Of course, you have the option to just ignore the day. It could just be another day for you. You don’t have to give it any regard at all. But, I have another idea – a radical notion! What if you were your own Valentine this year?
Regardless of its origins or intended meaning, Valentine’s Day has become a symbol of love. However, it’s not just any kind of love we honor on that day. It is the MOST INTIMATE kind of love we celebrate. Valentine’s is the one day a year that is set aside on the calendar, to celebrate the person that you love the most; the person that you have the deepest connection and intimacy with; the person whose presence in your life matters more than anyone else’s. Sure, it’s commercialized. Sure, Hallmark, Russell Stovers, 1-800-Flowers and Kay Jewelers are probably the driving forces behind all this “love”. But even if “love” is only pushed to the forefront as a smokescreen for a revenue increase, it’s still LOVE at the forefront. Any reason to appreciate love in your life, is a good enough reason!
That being said, why should love NOT be celebrated, just because you don’t happen to have a significant other at this time? As a matter of fact, my point precisely is that you DO have a significant other who deserves to be celebrated, and the significant other is – YOU! Who makes your coffee for you in the morning? Who supports your dreams? Who compliments you when have on a knockout outfit? Who treats you to lunch on hard days? And, who curls up on the couch with you to binge watch your favorite show? YOU DO! It’s all you.
Just think about it… Everything that a significant other will one day provide in your life, at this season of your life, you provide for yourself (hopefully with a few exceptions, lol). Aside from the love of GOD, Self-love is the greatest and most important love of all. It should also be the most intimate love you experience. When I say “intimate”, please understand that intimacy has nothing to do with sex. Intimacy at its core, is about familiarity and fondness; acceptance and support. Don’t you know yourself better than anyone else? Don’t you wake up every morning and accept yourself just as you are? Of course you do, and your love for yourself should be honored and appreciated, above any other person’s love.
So here is my radical idea: This year on Valentine’s Day, if you happen to be single currently, or in a relationship with someone who doesn’t celebrate you – CELEBRATE YOURSELF! Set the day aside to spend some quality with you. Write yourself a card. Buy yourself a gift. Take yourself out on a date. Make an occasion of it. Make you feel special on that day. Tell yourself how grateful you are for your own love, commitment and friendship. It might sound a little silly, but the truth of the matter is, you can’t do for someone else what you don’t know how to do for yourself.
If you don’t know how to celebrate yourself, you won’t know how to celebrate a significant other. If you don’t appreciate your own self-love, how can you appreciate someone else’s love? And if you happen to be the person reading this, who realized at some point during this short article that your self-love is lacking, this is your opportunity to acknowledge that and correct it. Maybe you are not being to yourself what you should be, in the absence of a significant other. Perhaps you are allowing certain areas of your life to be neglected, as you wait for that “special someone” to show up and treat you right. Well guess what? You are that special someone, and it is your obligation to treat yourself right, right now. So happy Valentine’s Day, from you, to you!
P.S. You can also spend the night with me! My weekly radio broadcast airs LIVE tonight from 9pm-11pm CST on FBRN.us. Watch the streaming video on FB or listen on the mobile app. You can even call in and chat with me. Find out more at www.facebook.com/InspiredIntimacy
Empowered by Love, Inspired by Intimacy
Laneen A. Haniah
~Dr. Intimacy, the Surgeon for Your Soul~