Ask Dr. Intimacy – Oral sex, sex demons, common law marriage and more!

Ask Dr. Intimacy 2-3-16

Dr. Intimacy is known for bringing the raw truth that liberates people from the chains that bind them. Thousands all around the world would love to sit down and ask her a question about a personal situation. Tonight, take a trip to the spiritual ER and allow Dr. Intimacy to go inside and heal you, as she tackles some of the most common questions asked of her by people from around the globe. One of your personal questions will probably be answered too! Please tune in, you do not want to miss this life changing show!

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Is Sexual Sin Caused by a Spirit?

While visiting another blog that addresses homosexuality amongst “so-called believers” (that is the author’s sentiment, not necessarily mine); I was struck by a statement that the author made. He was debating the existence of “the spirit of homosexuality”, claiming that people used the idea of demonic possession as an excuse to continue on in sin.  In his opinion, people sin by choice alone, influenced solely by their own sin nature and the spirit of lust. He was particularly disturbed that he had observed Pastor Benny Hinn “casting out” a spirit of homosexuality. And it may be good to mention that the gentleman that authored the article, formerly lived as a homosexual and has since dedicated himself to being a voice against it. Needless to say, he is very passionate about what he shares. His view is simply this, “There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”  

I thought his article brought up a very good question: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

I tend to agree with pastor Benny on this point. I do believe there is a spirit of homosexuality. As a matter of fact, I believe that nearly every sinful or demonic act is influenced by a particular type of demonic spirit. The author of the aforementioned article, as well as many other people, focus too greatly on how demons are named in the bible. When the truth of the matter is, the names of demons are not all that significant; it is their function and their type that matters. So you may not always see demons “named” in the Bible, but their functions and types are clearly outlined. In other words, their type is made plain by what they do; the fruit they produce in the life of the person they are affecting.

How often did we see YHshua (Jesus) cast demons out of people to heal them of an illness? “When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick.”  Mat 8:16, NKJV

Even in the case of Mary Magdalene, she was delivered from prostitution by the casting out of 7 demons. Now when He rose early on the first day of the week, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom He had cast seven demons.” Mark 7:9, NKJV (Her prostitution is “implied” in other scriptures. She was referred to specifically as “an especially wicked sinner”.)

In actuality,  the bible very seldom identified demonic spirits by a name.  Evil spirits were identified as being – evil, wicked, unclean, perverse and so on – but seldom by an actual distinct name.  And Jesus summoned to Him His twelve disciples and gave them power and authority over unclean spirits, to drive them out, and to cure all kinds of disease and all kinds of weakness and infirmity.” Mat 10:1, AMP

Ok… So if there is now a clear understanding that demons are acknowledged, but not necessarily named, in scripture – let’s deal with the next point:“There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”

This statement actually made me laugh. It was borderline ridiculous, in my opinion. We do not need different spirits or “type spirits” of righteousness; such as a “spirit of heterosexuality” (if heterosexuality is being implied to be a good thing in this instance, within the confines of a marriage). We don’t need a “spirit of kindness”, “spirit of truth”, “spirit of sobriety”, etc.  In order to live righteously, there is only need of One Spirit and that is, The Holy Spirit. All righteous living is a result of the Spirit of  YHWH God at work in our lives. He is the Spirit of Truth, Spirit of Love, Spirit of Obedience… He is the very source of all that is good and right; including pure, loving intimacy between a husband and wife (heterosexuality).

In terms of heterosexual sin, sex taking place outside of the confines of marriage, that influence would be typed as a “spirit of fornication”. But in essence at the end of the day, all sexual sin – all sin of any type for that matter – is influenced by  “the spirit of lust”. The term “spirit of lust” is actually the very definition of  ‘satan’. So all sin is influenced by the spirit of satan, and likewise all righteousness is influenced by “the Spirit of YHWH God”! But the Spirit of YHWH God is omni-present because He can be everywhere, and in everyone all at once. The spirit of satan is not so. He and his cohorts are limited to influencing or indwelling only one person at a time. So satan sends out his workers like soldiers, in groups specifically assigned and trained to do (or cause) specific acts of disobedience and/or types of oppression.

So the question is: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

The answer is: Yes and No! 

Just as the presence of the Holy Spirit can cause you to live righteously, the presence of a “Helly” spirit can cause you to live wickedly. I believe that ignorance concerning the workings of demonic spirits in our lives causes so many Christians to live a defeated life. Identifying an evil spirit does not give us an excuse to sin; it gives us ammunition to stop sinning! Naming a spirit according to its type, is just a way of specifying how the spirit of satan is working in your life more precisely. This is actually very empowering, giving insight into what weaknesses the enemy takes advantage of, to interfere with the abundance of our lives – spirit, soul and body! After all, YHshua never cast satan out of anyone, he always cast out demons. Nor does scripture say he cast “lust” out of Mary Magdalene. It says he cast out seven demons.

My only precaution on the ‘no’ side of my answer would be using the word “cause”, since you can only be “influenced” to sin, instead of forced. We all get to choose our own path and which spirit’s influence we give in to (unless one is truly “possessed” from childhood – but that’s another topic!) So although different spirits of evil may be the cause of sin in your life, it is because of your own choice that such sin is actually manifested.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2012 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Can A Person Be Born Homosexual?

The dictionary describes homosexuality as a strong attraction for the same-sex. That definition is too broad. A definition that broad lends itself to labeling everyone that has ever had a sexual thought about the same gender as homosexual. An attraction, which is simply a feeling, would not in and of itself put you in the category of homosexuality – anymore than being attracted to someone underage categorizes you as a pedophile, or getting sexually aroused when you see two dogs have sex justifies labeling you under bestiality. Be that as it may, you are certainly “at-risk” of becoming homosexual if you experience strong, same-sex attraction.  And perhaps you are actually homosexual, just having not given in to the physical act of sex as of yet. If you are doing it in your heart and mind, you have already lost the battle.

The question is often posed, “Can a person be born homosexual?” This is a good question and the answer is a simple and emphatically clear – Yes and No!

Yes, you can be born with an inexplicable inclination toward “reverse-gender” behaviors and same-sex attraction. Let me explain how I know this. I have given birth to seven children. At the time that I am writing this, my youngest is four years old and my oldest is 17. Having had the experience of being involved in training this small army of humanity, I can with certainty say that human beings are born with a vast array of personality traits. These traits range greatly from those most honorable, to those least desired.

One of my children for instance, is the very epitome of joy, and she has always loved to share this joy with any and every one. Since infancy, she has had the ability to transfer feelings of joy to others because she has such a strong energy of happiness emanating from her being. At the same time, she is insanely jealous – more so than any of my other children. Her longing to make people feel good, also causes her to demand to be the center of attention at all times. Now I have another child that is naturally strong and independent. He has from infancy, preferred to be alone. He taught himself to walk at eight months of age, while I was busy trying to teach him to crawl. Yet, he was an unusually angry baby – throwing terrible tantrums; getting easily frustrated; and banging his head in fits of rage. He was always like this, although he had no diagnosed medical issues of any kind. He had the ability to try the patience of a saint with his anger issues! So if the question is, “Can someone be born with negative personality traits and emotional challenges?”why, heavens yes!

Remember that it was explained that an attraction, same-sex or otherwise, is no more than a feeling. That is why people fall in and out of love in marriage. They felt attracted to their spouse at one point, and then at another time no longer felt attracted. Attraction is a fluid emotional state that can be easily affected by external influences and deliberately controlled. With any abnormal or unpleasant personality trait, characteristic or emotional state that a human being may be born with, every attempt should be made to correct it. Homosexual tendencies are no different.

 My son that had the anger issues is now 10. He had many troubled years at school because of his anger. Should I have just allowed him to succumb to his anger because he was born that way? Should I have just told his teachers after he threw books across the room, “Well that is just who he is”? No! He would have been in juvenile detention by the time he was eight. I had to teach him how to manage his strength and use it to his advantage. I used prayer, love, Biblical teachings and sought professional help as well. My friendly daughter that will walk up to a total stranger and hug them like they are her long-lost relative; should I let her think it is okay to be friendly to everyone? Should I not teach her to curtail her friendliness for the sake of keeping her safe from predators? And concerning her jealously – do I not have a responsibility to teach her that though she is a gift from God, she is not His only gift to the world?

You see my point is that just because someone is born with an inclination toward homosexuality, does not mean that the person should not be redirected toward what has been the established order and law of nature since creation. All human beings are born in an imperfect state. Yet if I have a child that is born blind, would I not do everything that I could to give her sight if it were possible? If I have a child who is born deaf, should I not pursue obtaining hearing aids so he can hear? Blindness or deafness does not diminish the value of my child at all. Yet they are abnormalities that will indeed make life much more challenging and difficult for that child. Therefore, if it can be corrected without harming the child in some detrimental way, I will opt for that correction.

The one thing that I am certainly not going to do is pretend that there is no issue, or try to force my child to believe that he or she is “typical”, when all of creation is evidence against that. This will only serve to shroud that child in confusion and darkness. It will render him or her helpless in their ability to make accurate decisions, with mindfulness of the maladies that will make life more challenging for them in certain instances.  By helping them confront their differences and challenges head-on, I empower them to either eradicate those challenges, or to overcome them by using other strengths!

So that is the ‘yes’ part of the answer; now to address the ‘no’ part. Using the example of my formally angry child, (who is almost as gentle as lamb now, by the way) let us continue. I said that he was born with an inclination toward feeling angry and frustrated. If he grew up to kill, could I then say he was born a killer? No. He was born with a bad temper, which was not his choice. How he responds and reacts to that anger; is his choice. If he responds to feelings of anger by killing someone, that is a choice that he makes. Feeling angry is not sinful; killing someone on the other hand, is indeed wrong. Homosexuality is the same. Having feelings of attraction toward someone of the same-sex is not sinful, responding to those feelings through sexual contact with the same-sex, is indeed wrong.

So yes, you can be born with an inclination toward homosexuality. But in order for your feelings of same-sex attraction to cross the border of actually being homosexual – you have to deliberately and consciously act upon them. This also means that you cannot become homosexual through molestation. If someone puts heroin in your food and exposes you to the drug, that does not by default make you a drug addict. You will only become a drug addict if you choose, to yield to the temptation that the experience produces in you, to use heroin again. You then become a drug addict by choice. Homosexual attractions could be inherent, but a homosexual lifestyle is a choice.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Is Masturbation in the Bible As a Sin?

Last month  I posted an article entitled “Are You a Christian Who Masturbates?” There were a lot of interesting comments and some deep questions. I was not specific as to any particular scripture when addressing the topic. I wanted to give people a chance to share their thoughts on it. But now it’s time for “Dr. Intimacy’s Final Word From Scripture” on the matter. This is a tough one to break down and it took some time to unravel the revelation in scripture. So you might want to grab a cup of coffee and get your Bible and a notebook, as I take you deep into the text to reveal a Biblical answer on the question of masturbation!

A lot of people debate over whether or not masturbation is actually a sin. Many people want to confine the Word of God to our limited English language and vocabulary. Because in their hearts they desire to indulge in sin, they feign ignorance due to the fact that every evil act is not noted in black and white in the Bible. However, the Bible tells us in Romans 1:18-19, 18But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who push the truth away from themselves. 19For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts.”

Admittedly, there is no scripture in the Bible that says, “Thou shall not masturbate”. So hey, if you want to chance standing before God on judgment day with your hand in your pants, you can try this omission of specific language out as your defense! However, for those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, you are getting ready to get your fill: the Bible Truth concerning masturbation. Since there is no scripture that uses the word “masturbation” (simply because there is no word-for-word translation between the languages used) let’s examine some scriptures where it can clearly be read between the lines.

“Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” This scripture in 1 Corinthians 6:18,  has often been debated as to its relevance toward masturbation. This is because verses 15 and 16 of this same chapter, as you will read further down, makes specific reference to female prostitution. However, in order to fully understand a scripture, you have to examine it within the context of the entire passage that it is connected to.

That is why I want to take a look back to first Corinthians chapter 6 beginning at verse 9. By doing so, we can find some pretty strong references to masturbation. Since this is a long passage of text, let’s look at the scriptures a few at a time beginning with 6:9-10 “9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.”

The author of this text makes specific mention of several different acts of sexual perversion: sexual sin, adultery, male prostitution and homosexuality.  Homosexuality we understand clearly to be sexual relations or attraction between two people of the same gender. Male prostitutes are clearly men who exchange sex for money or favors, most often with other men and often as a part of idol worship. Adultery is understood to be sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse.

Then we are left with the term “sexual sin”. What is the author referring to with this term? This text was written during a time when it was culturally acceptable for men to have as many wives as they wanted to. This means that a man could not “technically fornicate” in the way we think of fornication, which is “sex outside of marriage”. If a woman was single and agreed to have sex with a man, they were married – unless she was a prostitute or committing adultery. With female prostitution already being addressed directly in verse 18 and adultery already being addressed in verse 9, what else are we to believe the term “sexual sin” means here, as it is certainly not fornication?

Now let’s look at verses 11 – 14. “11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.  12 You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, ‘Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.’ (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.”

In this passage in verses 11-14, the author expounds upon his reference to being “greedy”, made earlier in verse 9. By doing so, he is trying to help us understand that just because we have been made “clean”, does not mean that we are exempt from the bondage of sin. You can eat, and eating in and of itself is not bad. However, you can also be greedy by overeating and overeating can be deadly. Let’s face it; overeating is suicide on a payment plan. Carelessly subjecting your body to unwholesome, damaging activities is sinful. In other words, just because the body functions enable you to perform an activity, doesn’t mean that you should engage in that activity. The author gives this simple, practical example about eating because it is easy to relate to.

Then the author wants to build upon this understanding and apply this same concept to sexual immorality in the next passage, making the point clear once again: just because you can do something, doesn’t mean that you should do something! 15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one. 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.”

So now, looking at verses 15 and 16 in consideration of the entire message being portrayed, the specific reference to prostitution is no more the “focus” of this passage than any of these other specific references. What is more important than the reference to prostitution are these clauses from 13, 14 and 17: “But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality [like you can say the stomach was made for food; and since you can’t say that it makes engaging in sexual immorality even that much worse]. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead… 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.”  These clauses are important because the truth of the matter is that ALL sexual perversion causes you to become one with somebody. Whether done rightly through marriage or wrongly through homosexuality, prostitution or adultery – sex makes you one with the person you join to.

This truth is just as applicable in the case of masturbation as with any other sexual act. Your body belongs to the Lord and is designed to die to self and sin, after you have been cleansed and set apart. This is apparent because in the middle of a passage that has nothing to do with natural death or resurrection, the author makes a clear indication of your body being raised from the dead. This is the death of flesh, death to self, death to your own will and your way that the author is talking about. When you let your body die to sinful ways, God will raise your dead body up as a standard of righteousness for all to see! Yet, instead of dying to self and becoming “one spirit” with The Lord, you are exalting your own sinful life and becoming one with the will of your flesh. And so finally, we can read verses 6:18-20 with full understanding.

“ 18Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The Apostle Paul clearly and deliberately covered each type of “sexual immorality” (the general term that is used for all sexual activity not done with your spouse) in this passage: adultery, male prostitution, female prostitution, homosexuality and masturbation (sexual sin). The specific illustration of prostitution in verses 15 and 16 is only used to help paint a clear picture of sexual perversion that everyone can undeniably agree is sinful. He follows this illustration by pointing out that we are to be “one spirit” with the Lord.

I don’t believe that if Paul could have translated this passage into English himself that he would have included a break between the two clauses in 17 and 18, “one spirit with him” and “Run from sexual sin!”  This is one continuous thought, leading us into understanding that masturbation, which is what I believe he is referring to when he uses the term ‘sexual sin’, is just as perverse as prostitution and all of the other acts of sexual immorality mentioned in this chapter. It is not at all by coincidence that this clause is followed in verse 19 with these words: “You do not belong to yourself…”

The text could have said, “You do not belong to a prostitute….” or “You do not belong to an adulterer…” or “You do not belong to a  homosexual…” But instead it clearly states, “YOU DO NOT BELONG TO YOURSELF!”: A vivid picture of the act of ‘self-sex’ and taking liberties with your own body that are not harmonious with your estate as The Temple of the Holy Spirit.

You see, Paul wanted to ensure that no matter what kind of sexual addiction you are dealing with, you would know that this text applies to you… Yes, even you who freely indulge yourselves sexually. Now all you have to consider is this: Does masturbation honor God with your body? Can you see yourself at the throne with the 24 elders, who will be casting their crowns before Him in worship, bowing and saying, “Holy, Holy, Holy…” while you are indulging in your own flesh, enjoying sexual lust by your own hand? That is what you have to ask yourself.

Check this out on YouTube 

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Are You a Christian Who Masturbates?

OK so I had to break the ice on this one with the comedic relief of the image above because let’s face it… talks about masturbation get most Christians “hot under the collar”. It’s on everyone’s mind (… and on most people’s hands too… er… uh… every pun intended there, lol.) You are far from the only one that has questions about this. So go ahead and get an alias account name so you can post an honest answer and let’s start blogging! (Don’t worry about being required to leave your email address when you post a comment because the other bloggers can’t see it. It is only requested to verify that you are a valid blogger and not a spamware program leaving automated messages.)

For those of you who don’t know, the main reason that I created this blog is to educate people about the spirits of sexual perversion and the adverse effects that they have on our lives, as well as how to get delivered from these spirits so that we can live in freedom and experience success. If you want to know why this is my passion check out the “Who is Dr. Intimacy” page, or even better yet order my book “STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons”.

At any rate, in an attempt to ensure that I am not  just rambling on about the things I deem important, I would like to post questions and evaluate reader feedback. This will help me more accurately address your specific interests and needs. I know sexual sin is an embarrassing topic to speak on, but how will you get help if you don’t start seeking it?  If you are worried about your image, like I said, create a new account with a screen name and e-mail address that no one will recognize because it is time to start dealing with our issues! I’m here to help and talking about masturbation is a good place to start. about it:

Are you a Christian who masturbates? Why or why not? Do you have any specific Bible references against or in support of masturbation? Do you have specific experiences to share? Please enlighten us!

Comments have been closed on this post. Please refer to the post “Is Masturbation in the Bible As a Sin?” to make comments. Also check out my YouTube video about this.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.