Create the World You Want to Live In!

Create the World You Want to Live In!

Yesterday I got dressed to hang out with an old friend. Unfortunately they had to cancel, and then it began to storm furiously. All dressed with no place to go, I decided to go to the store. While on the way to the grocery store, I decided to call a new person I’ve met to say hello. I was really enjoying the conversation, so instead of rushing them off the phone to do my shopping, I parked and walked around outside, giving us time to continue to connect .

As I was walking, I looked down and saw a heart-shaped water stain on the ground, left over from the recent storm. I immediately turned on my camera and took a picture of it. There was something very beautiful about it to me — not only the heart, but also that moment in my life…

When we finished talking, over an hour later, I shopped quickly and went home. When I got home, I took my phone out and began to stare into the picture. I could see so much in it, so much beauty, so much raw potential. It was like a story waiting to be written, so I took out my S-pen and began to create the picture I wanted to see — the one that probably made you smile 🙂

I think there is a lesson to learn in all of this. A happy life is about finding the hidden beauty in your world. I could’ve stayed home and sulked because I was disappointed. I could have hid inside because it was storming. I could have rushed my new friend off of the phone because I was busy. I could’ve overlooked the dirty, wet sidewalk because we take such things for granted. I could have ignored the heart-shaped water stain because it was insignificant. But I didn’t make any of those decisions.

Life cancelled my plan, so I seized the moment and made it mine. An old friend wasn’t available, so I made myself available to make a new friend. The world gave me a storm, so I deicided that I would make something beautiful in the aftermath.

Living the life you want is all about the choices you make. Happiness is all about perspective. A lot of people are “waiting for an opportunity” when the fact of the matter is, every breath you take is an opportunity. You can create the opportunity you want. You can be an opportunity for somebody else. You can create the world you want to live in. It’s all about discovering the hidden beauty in your world, and nurturing the raw potential that is LIFE.



Empowerd by Love & Inspired by Intimacy

Laneen A. Haniah

“Dr. Intimacy ~ The Surgeon for Your Soul”


(c) 2018 ~ Laneen Dr. Intimacy Haniah ~

The Thief Must Repay, No Matter What!

Man-Getting-Arrested-psd21902A thief was walking along a deserted sidewalk, planning his next heist, when he happened upon what seemed to be a gift handed right to him. Although all of the stores were closed for the evening, the front door to a major jeweler had been left wide open. Without a second thought and with no effort at all, he walked into the store. No alarm sounded, there were no onlookers and no one inside to attend the store. Seizing the opportunity at hand, he greedily took all that he desired, which was everything!

As it turns out, earlier that day during a medical crisis, the store manager was rushed from the store, by ambulance, to a hospital. The medical personnel who attended to him did not realize that he was the only one in the store and that he was responsible for locking up. The store had been left in that vulnerable position for many hours. Many patrons came and went, not understanding why the door was open and why no one was available to help them. Yet, no one dared to take anything because they knew that the store and all of its possessions belonged to someone.

When the owner came to the store the next day, he was very angry about the burglary. The thief had taken everything of value in the entire building.  He was disheartened because, since the door was left open, insurance would not cover the loss. There was no way for him to recover the jewelry, or acquire its monetary value. He would have to close his doors forever. He lost everything and the thief was long gone, enjoying his dishonest gain.

Just as the business owner was packing up all of his things, preparing to close his business, he received notice from the company CEO. You see, his store was a franchised store – part of a large corporation – and the corporation owned the building itself.  What the owner did not realize is that the CEO had installed an undetectable security system in all of his buildings. The system had captured the thief’s identity and tracked him to his very location. The authorities were notified and the thief arrested.

When told that he was being arrested for burglarizing the jewelry store, he protested vehemently, saying, “I didn’t break in. The door was wide open! I had every right to walk into a public building whose door was left open!!!”

To which the authorities replied, “You are correct. You had the right to walk through an open door, but no right to take anything! The items you took did not belong to you!”

At his court hearing, because all of the jewelry had already been sold and could not be retrieved, the thief was ordered to repay the business owner out of his own assets. The repayment was seven times more than the actual value of the jewelry!

The moral of the story is this:

  • No matter how many caretakers fall short in properly covering you
  • No matter how foolish a mistake you make
  • No matter how many doors you leave wide open
  • No matter how much it seems your losses are your fault
  • No matter who says you can’t recover what’s been lost
  • No matter how ignorant you are to the protection you have

YOU BELONG TO YHWH GOD, AND the devil HAS NO RIGHT TO YOU OR ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO YOU!!! He is a thief and he must repay you sevenfold! It is not the time to throw in the towel and close shop. It’s time to go to your CEO, (Creator & Everlasting Owner), and let Him know that you have been robbed and want to be paid restitution. The eyes of Abba Father are watching everything concerning you, even when it seems He’s not looking. He knows how to find your enemy and how to exact justice against him!!!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Worship from a Holistic Perspective –

Crushing the bonds of sexual perversion and healing the bonds of heart-2-heart love & intimacy.

Copyright © 2013 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Going Through a Divorce…

…Well, Get Through It Already!


Although the above picture probably gave you a chuckle, divorce is a sad thing – even if you desire the divorce, it is still a sad occasion. But what’s even sadder than getting a divorce, is NOT getting a divorce! There is almost nothing sadder than people who are “going through” a divorce for years and sometimes even decades. From the wife that just won’t accept the fact that her husband does not want to remain married; to the husband that files for divorce, as a bluff to force his wife to change, and finds that it is ineffectual; to the couple that is “staying together for the kids”… There are many reasons that people get stuck in the divorce process, but no matter what the reason, a couple in this situation, is LIVING IN AN OPEN GRAVE.

I interviewed an elderly gentleman today, whose “open grave” situation I became aware of, through one of my clients. I was highly intrigued by this gentleman’s story and privileged that he opened up to me about it. I want to share the interview. I pray that after learning of his story, if you are in your own “open grave” situation, you will very expeditiously get on the other side of “going through”, and redeem the precious remainder of your life!

Just as a side note, I made no attempt to “minister” to this gentleman because he did not come to me for counsel. He is a non-believer that respectfully agreed to an interview, and so I interviewed him like a journalist, in a non-biased manner. This is just FYI. I will call this man “Greg”.


Dr. Intimacy: For the record Greg, how old are you?

Greg: I am 70 years old. I can’t believe how fast the years have gone by. How old are you?

Dr. Intimacy: I am 37.

Greg: Oh, you are a young lady. You wait until you get into your mid 40’s, the years are going to start flying by.

Dr. Intimacy: So Greg, tell me about this big change that you are going to be making in your life in the coming months.

Greg: Well, I am going to be moving out of the country to be with my soul mate. I finally found “the one”.

Dr. Intimacy: You have been married for 45 years Greg. Are you going to “officially” divorce your wife before you leave?

Greg: No, at my age, it’s not worth it.

Dr. Intimacy: Isn’t your freedom worth it?

Greg: Listen, I don’t want anything from my wife. I have paid the house off and I am signing the deed over to her. I am going to continue to pay her bills and she can have everything. In this state that I live in, I will have to pay all of her legal fees if we go through a divorce. There is no way I am going to pay $50,000 to fight over a $500 couch! If she files and wants an uncontested divorce, I will gladly sign the papers, but it doesn’t matter to me either way. I am leaving the country.

Dr. Intimacy: Is your wife aware of your plans?

Greg: No she isn’t. I have done everything very discreetly. I have taken care of all of my affairs. I have already purchased my burial plot. My son is the executor of my estate. My funeral costs are paid for.  I am debt free… I have not told her anything. I did what I had to do to make this happen. I will not tell her until I am just about to leave.

Dr. Intimacy: I see. Greg let me ask you something… I know that you are pretty sick. At your age and with your health challenges and so much of your youth and vitality gone, do you have any regrets about not making this change sooner, so you could have enjoyed more years of your li… (cut off before I could even finish the sentence).

Greg: OH YES! Do I regret it! I feel like I have wasted 45 years of my life!!!

Dr. Intimacy: Well Greg, help me understand your thought process. If you knew so many years ago that you were experiencing that depth of misery, why didn’t you leave long ago? From what I understand, you have worked all these years to ensure that you could come out ahead financially when you finally “freed” yourself. But, how could you value provision and finance above your own happiness, freedom and peace?

Greg: You don’t understand, it’s not that simple. I mean, this woman… I don’t want to say she’s a bad person, but there is just something about her… Her own sister has not spoken to her in 27 years. She has a brother that is a pastor and even he has not spoken to her in 25 years! Her problem is that she wants to control everybody’s life! I mean…

Dr. Intimacy: Again Greg, my question is – why was money worth staying, if it was that bad?

Greg: You know Laneen, I filed for divorce in 2001. When the litigation began, it was very nasty. My lawyer really screwed me. I could have sued the lawyer for breach of contract, it was so bad! The whole thing was a big waste of money, and I ended up having to have the case removed from the docket, due to the lawyer’s incompetence! I hate litigation. I lost a half a million dollars in litigation back in 1983! I hate litigation, any kind of litigation, even divorce litigation. I haven’t lived with my wife since 2001. So, the way I see it, I saved $50,000 in litigation fees!

Dr. Intimacy: Ok Greg, putting your hatred for litigation aside; let me ask you a philosophical question. You said to me earlier that you feel you have wasted 45 years of your life. Let’s just say that 30 years ago, you went ahead and finalized your divorce. Let’s say that the worse case scenario happened in the divorce outcome – you lost everything, had a ton of legal fees and had to pay a huge alimony settlement. After the outcome of the divorce, let’s say you got on with your life, entered into a happy marriage with another woman and lived life peacefully and happily from that point forward… To add 30 years of peace back to your life, would it had not been worth the $50,000?

Greg: (In a sad and somber tone) Yes.

Dr. Intimacy: What if it had cost you $100,000 or even if it cost you a million dollars… Isn’t your life worth it? So at 70 years old you’re finally debt free – but so what if going through the divorce had cost you an extra five years of debt?! Would it really matter 30 happy years later?

Greg: You’re right. My life was worth more.

Dr. Intimacy: So did you save $50,000, or did you lose 30 years of your life?

Greg: You know what the worst part about it is?

Dr. Intimacy: What Greg?

Greg: When you go through life unhappy, you become an angry person. You become someone other than who you really are. And honestly, living a happy life is going to add another 5 or 10 years to your life anyway.

Dr. Intimacy: So you would have time to make up for the money you lost, huh? (Laugh)

Greg: Exactly! (Laugh)

Dr. Intimacy: Greg, let me ask you this. Were you ever in love with your wife?

Greg: I thought I was, but I knew the first week we were married that I had made a mistake.

Dr. Intimacy: Really? How did you know that?

Greg: I don’t know; I just knew. We didn’t have a single commonality. We are completely different in every way. It wasn’t just that though. I don’t really know how to explain it. I just knew. When you find the right person, you just know, and it really makes a difference… Doesn’t it?

Dr. Intimacy: Yes, Greg. I agree. I do have one final question for you. Your friend that made me aware of your situation is in a similar type of marriage, of 32 years. (He is 56 and filed for divorce nearly two years ago and has yet to finalize it.) From my sessions with him, I understand that he is completely divorced from his wife physically, mentally and emotionally but will not finalize the divorce on paper due to finances. He wants to “get his affairs in order”, just the same as you have finally completed at 70 years of age. But you and I both know that realistically, with the amount of debt that he is in; it will be a number of years before he is financially “comfortable” enough to come out ahead in a divorce. As one of your best friends, doesn’t it hurt you to see him going down the same path that you traveled?

Greg: Yes, I have to talk to him! I have to tell him not to make the same mistake that I made. Life is not about money. It is about so much more than money. Let’s face it; I am a very sick man. I am 70 years old, and the average lifespan for a US male is 73. I don’t have many years left; certainly not many good years. Even if I live another 10 years, that is not a lot of time! I am determined to be happy for the last years of my life. I don’t want him to make the same mistake that I made. I am going to talk to him and tell him that he needs to be happy and enjoy his life. Life is not about money.

Dr. Intimacy: OK, thank you so much for your time Greg. I appreciate you sharing.


As a minister of The Gospel, divorce breaks my heart just as much as it does any preacher’s. However, it is an undeniable fact that some marriages are erroneous, contaminated unions of flesh that produce nothing but bad fruit. Yeshua says in scripture that you shall know a tree by its fruit, whether the tree is good or bad. When you examine the fruit of some marriages, you will find that it is rotten to the core. Even some marriages that have lasted for years and even decades, are producing rotten fruit that is contaminating the nation with adultery, bitterness, hatred, thwarted purposes, destroyed destinies and misrepresentations of holy matrimony.

If you know in your heart that your marriage is over with; if both you and your spouse are not 100% committed to making the marriage honor the holy matrimony that God intended for it to be; if you know that you have already given your heart to someone else; if you have not touched your spouse in years and don’t even want to again; if you are only staying together for the kids; if your spouse has filed for divorce and you refuse to accept that it’s over; if your spouse is having an open affair without repentance; if you are a woman who is afraid that you can’t survive financially on your own; if you are a man fearful of losing all that you’ve worked for; if you think divorce is too expensive… Whatever your empty excuses are for living in the open grave that has become your life, I ask you to consider:

Price versus Cost…

Yes, getting a divorce can be financially burdensome. It can be hard on the children. The changes you have to face are fearful and overwhelming at times. It can be murder on your public reputation. Divorce is expensive in a lot of ways. The price is hefty, but what will it cost you to stay: Price v. Cost? Will it cost you 45 years of life, like it has cost Greg? Will you be dying of cancer, trying to escape the country before you finally realize that there was no price too great to pay to get your life back on the right path, as quickly as possible? Will you have spent so many years in bitterness that it ate away your bones and rotted away your dreams?

I have been through divorce, and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. But, I made it; I am here; I recovered; I am alive. I don’t wish that anyone would have to go through the death of divorce. But I would rather completely die once, and then be fully resurrected and restored to health, than to spend the rest of my existence bedridden, in a brain-dead, vegetative state: That is the difference between finalizing a divorce and living continuously in a divorced state of heart! Once someone is divorced in the heart and unwilling to reconcile, the marriage is over. It is a disgraceful waste of life to continue in that state!

Everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes, like a poorly chosen spouse, are more painful than others. But what is exceedingly more painful than making a mistake, is punishing yourself to live in that mistake forever. You have the option of forgiveness, restoration and wholeness. You can begin your life again, anew. So quit punishing yourself! STOP “going through” divorce, and “get through” with divorce! Redeem the rest of your life immediately! Don’t waste another precious moment of peace and purpose! The pain and the price is worth it; your soul will thank you; take it from Greg!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Worship from a Holistic Perspective –

Breaking the bonds of sexual perversion and healing the bonds of heart-2-heart intimacy.

Copyright © 2013 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Comfort V. Healing

When I was a baby girl my legs were severely deformed. They were bent in at the knees at such a sharp angle that I was crippled and unable to walk. Thankfully the condition was able to be corrected through the use of full leg braces that I would need to wear every day, 24 hours a day for about 18 months. As I wore the braces the healing process was going along well and at 3 years of age I walked for the first time. Unfortunately the braces were painful and uncomfortable to wear and my mother says I whined and complained constantly. Eventually, after only 6 months of wearing them, she choose to abort the process so that I would be comfortable.

Although I was able to walk after that, my legs were still deformed. All throughout my life I have struggled to walk and I was teased mercilessly growing up because of my partially deformed legs. My insecurity about my legs added to the low self-esteem that led me to dress provocatively as I got older. By show-casing my sexuality in my dress, it took the negative attention off of my legs and placed some “positive attention” on my feminine beauty. I liked the attention so much that I eventually became an exotic dancer, which led to my involvement in prostitution.

 Just imagine… One year of discomfort could have spared me from a life time of severe emotional scars and painful memories to bear. Sometimes what we have to go through to get truly healed is uncomfortable and maybe even downright painful. Many times in life, when spiritual and emotional deformities cripple our ability to walk in Righteousness and destiny, we opt for comfort instead of healing, due to the difficulty of completing the healing process. If you keep facing the same trial over and over again you need to be honest with yourself about how you are processing through your emotional deformities. Are you repeatedly aborting God’s prescribed healing process in order to comfort yourself?  Opt for permanent healing instead of temporary comfort so that you can not struggle to walk, but run and soar into the fullness of your destiny!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

What Are Your Surroundings Saying About Your Inner Man?

This is an excerpt from a previous blog written on October 11, 2009

Six months ago my house was so clean that you could eat out of my toilets. My papers were neatly filed on my desk. My clothes were categorized in my closet according to season. Each of my 7 children’s clothing items were labeled with their initials and folded precisely in their own drawers. Whatever I needed, I could easily find because everything had a place. Anything that was out-of-place was immediately spotted because disorder is so apparent within an orderly environment. Yes order emanated from every nook and cranny of my home, including every closet, under every bed and even in the garage.

Last week tears welled up in my eyes as frustration set in on me. My desk was so messy that I couldn’t even find something that I laid on it just moments earlier. The floors were so dirty that we needed to wear shoes in the house. My children’s clothes were scattered everywhere: under beds, in toy chests, under the couch and in drawers that they did not belong in. I couldn’t find anything without going on a scavenger hunt through piles and piles of clothes, papers and toys! Junk ( or what appeared to be junk due to the disregard with which it was treated) was shoved into every nook and cranny of the house. There was total disorder, complete chaos.

Today I spent 7 hours cleaning my room up. As I was sitting here at my clean desk reflecting on the labor I did today, which only got my room about 70% restored to what it was, I had an epiphany. My surroundings were a reflection of the state of my inner being. You see six months ago, I experienced a life-changing trauma. It was a devastating event that I was not even sure I would survive emotionally, as depression was suffocating me and insanity offered itself as a welcomed escape. Before that heart-stopping moment, I was in a place of total peace. I was operating in my purpose, sure of my destiny and enjoying the effectiveness of my existence on earth. But that all suddenly changed when I learned that one of my children was sexually assaulted by a family member. I was thrown into confusion, anger, sadness, etc…

Little by little and day by day, as I slipped deeper and deeper into inner turmoil and chaos; my surroundings began to change. It was not intentional. I tried to keep it all together as best as I could. I was still cleaning and it seemed that I was doing the same things that I had always done, but I wasn’t getting the same results. I realize now that I could have bought the best cleaning products on the market and cleaned daily. It wouldn’t have mattered. My soul was emitting chaotic energy and that energy controlled the temperature of my environment. As I look around me right now, I have those tears in my eyes again. But they are not tears of frustration this time. Instead they are tears of relief.

My surroundings in this almost clean room speak of the peace that is being restored and the inner order that is returning. I am not 100% quite yet, maybe only 70% like my room. Nonetheless I am pressing my way back into the energy of God’s grace. His rhythm is harmonizing with my soul and I see myself not only being restored, but becoming better than I ever was before!

What are your surroundings saying about your inner man?

In the Power of Love,

 Dr. Intimacy

 Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

From Friendship to Fornication: Setting the Captives Free!

This is a story from my past…

It was just another night in the life of a broken woman – a night that had ended like many others before it. I was on the bed with my face in my pillow sobbing, soiled with the stains of sin’s residue. The events that led up to this night had begun six months prior when the assistant pastor of my church asked me for my phone number. He said that he was going to give it to his wife because he saw that I really needed some help. I had been out of church for quite some time. The filth of my spirit was way beyond obvious. I was annoyed with his request. I didn’t want help. I was bitter and not interested in being better. His persistence won out though and I finally gave him the number.

Unfortunately, his wife never saw that number. That very same day he called me six times. And he called me every day thereafter – at my house, on my cell phone, at my job – he wouldn’t stop calling me. I really felt that he was a dork at first. I used to do mean things like leave him on hold for 10 minutes just for the fun of it. He would actually wait too. He was really strung out on me and I was disgusted by it, but I found it amusing. I was too deep in sin to realize how evil it was for me to entertain this man’s pursuits of me. What he was up to was apparent to me. He wasn’t the first “man of the cloth” to run after me. These things never ended well, but I was cocky. I thought I could handle it this time.

In the mean time God began to soften and heal my calloused heart. He was restoring me from my backslidden state. Before long I found myself completely detached from the friends and life of sin that had become familiar to me. Suddenly, this dorky pastor was my only friend. Things took an unexpected turn. I began to look forward to his phone calls. I was feeling uncomfortable with the relationship because I was really growing spiritually and I did not want to mess up again. I always did just fine as a Christian until it came to the dreaded ‘S’ word. Yeah, that three-letter expletive ‘sex’.

I decided that I did not want to speak to him anymore, but he insisted that we were just friends. He said to me, “Preachers need friends too.” Soon, phone calls turned into visits and visits turned into a full-fledged obsession. I knew this couldn’t end well. I asked The Lord to intervene. I didn’t know what else to do. I begged “my friend” to please stay away from me before “something bad happened”. But he didn’t listen. He would come to my home and literally cry tears when I refused to let him in. Did I mention that he was married? To a beautiful and anointed sister at the church who happened to be pregnant at the time? It was really a bad situation.

After much begging and pleading with God that He would make this man stop coming to my house, after tearfully praying that He would not let me fall into sexual sin again – it seemed that my prayers had fallen on deaf ears. After six months of a purely “innocent friendship” there I was on my bed crying. The ‘S’ word had happened. He had to go home to his wife, and I was left to deal with the shame and consequent self-hatred. We continued to be together for a time longer and I thought that I would never be restored after this incident. I was just about to walk away from the faith again when my Heavenly Father stopped me.

God delivered me out of that relationship and set me on my destined course to set satan’s captives free. From that time on the Lord began to teach me all about sexual perversion and the spirits that oppress people influencing them commit such acts. It was a painful situation but it was purposeful. I am thankful and that is why I am writing this blog. I want to help people who are struggling with sexual sin. I want to teach you what I have learned about true deliverance and authentic intimacy. Together we will take back what the enemy has stolen and learn how to Love Free!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.