I am continuing my series on understanding intimacy. If you have not read parts 1 and 2 of the series, please read them before reading this article. We ended part 1 with the revelation that there are 4 lessons that God wants to teach us through the sexual intimacy of a husband and wife, according to His perfect design for sex. This post today is about the second lesson that we learn through the sexual intimacy of a husband and wife. To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.
Establishing and Strengthening Blood Covenant
The second lesson that we can learn from the act of lovemaking is the great importance of worshiping God for the establishing and maintaining of our covenant with Him. The most critical purpose of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is to strengthen and re-establish the covenant bond and partnership between them. Friendships may come a dime a dozen, but covenant relationships are rare. That is part of what makes the marital relationship so special, it is a covenant relationship that is established in blood.
Let’s examine this. It is medically known that the first time a woman has intercourse, she sheds blood. This can happen at times other than the first as well because it is an increase in blood flow to the woman’s genital area that enables arousal and lubrication before and during sex. Blood is also the driving force behind the erection and ejaculation of a man. His penis is actually made up of tiny blood vessels that swell with blood to cause an erection. This blood stimulates all of the sensitive nerve endings in his genital area helping him to maintain the erection until the pleasure build up causes him to release his seed. When it comes right down to it, sex is all about blood flow!
What is the significance of this? Well, in the Bible we learn that the most powerful covenant that can be made is one that is established in blood (Ex 24:8, Zech 9:11, Mat 26:28, Heb 9:18-22). Taking into consideration the blood flow involved in sex acts, understand that a blood covenant is made between a husband and wife when they first have sex – regardless of virginity or lack thereof. Through sexual intimacy they become partners to one another for life. A blood covenant can only be broken by death or by the establishing of a new blood covenant which cancels out the old one. Thus every time that couple connects their bodies and blood in intercourse, they are strengthening the established bond and covenant between them.
We too are in a blood covenant (through the Blood of Jesus) with the Father. Just as is the case with a husband and wife, each time we worship Him we re-establish and strengthen our bond and spiritual covenant with Him. We see a picture of this parallel even in the practice of communion where we partake of the Body and Blood of the Messiah (Luke 22:19-20). Scripture tells us we are to do this “in remembrance” of Jesus, who brought us the New Covenant. During sex a couple takes in each other’s bodies and also drink in each other’s blood (by the exchange of fluids that occur during open-mouthed kissing). You take communion every time you have sex!
This is a hint as to why there is a natural drive for sexual intercourse after an argument. Discord weakens the bond that holds the covenant together, sexual intercourse re-establishes it. Couples NEED to share intercourse frequently, and we likewise must worship God frequently. If you were to observe a couple that has poor and infrequent sexual relations you would find that couple does not understand the concepts of partnership, loyalty and commitment in marriage. (There are always exceptions due to illness, distance, age, etc., but any close, intimate couple had frequent and enjoyable intercourse at some point in their marriage.) Unsatisfactory sexual intimacy is the number one cause for infidelity. This is not because the physical aspect of the sex is so important, but is instead because without the intimacy that sex represents, all other aspects of the relationship falls apart.
It is so important for a married couple to have mutually enjoyable sexual intimacy often. Each time they lay together and partake of one another’s bodies and blood, they are reminded of the covenant they made to one another as husband and wife. This bond is strengthened as time and tribulations reveal their commitment to one another. It is equally as important for us to experience mutually enjoyable worship with God to help us remember our covenant and remain faithful to Him.
“24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes. (1 Cor 11:24-26, NKJV)”
In the Power of Love,
Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body
Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.