When the Preacher’s Child is Gay: Homosexuality in the Church

What do you do when you’ve poured your life out to preach the Gospel and your child announces that he or she is gay? What do you do when you are a preacher’s kid and you don’t believe the same thing your parents believe? How do we overcome homosexuality in families and churches without condemning each other or compromising our convictions? Dr. Intimacy had to face this very difficult challenge in her own family. Join her and her eldest son Ja’Keim Haniah, as they have a transparent and intimate dialogue about their struggle with these issues.

Inspired Intimacy Talk Radio is LIVE on the air every Wednesday night from 9pm-11pm CST, with Creator and Host Dr. Intimacy, Co-Hosts Howard J. and Brendon “White Chocolate” Stewart & Co-Producer J. Revival.

Join Dr. Intimacy as we explore the naked truth about Love, Life, Intimacy!

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I’m a Pastor Addicted to Porn and Masturbation…

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My schedule does not permit me to answer as many questions as I’d like to on this blog, but every so often, I get a post that tears at my heart, and I have to stop everything to respond to it. The following was one such post that came in on the “Ask Dr. Intimacy” page. Below is the post and then beneath that, my response. I hope it helps someone…

Dr. Intimacy,

Thank you for your obedience to God and your willingness to make your personal matters public so awareness and deliverance can take place in the life of others. I have read most of the articles you have posted and I also have purchased your book “Sexually Transmitted Demons.” My question for you is how to do I experience real deliverance from the sexual perversion in my life. I can stop masturbating for a couple of days but the urges are so strong that no matter what I do it is hard for me to resist. I watch porn and masturbate at least 4 to 5 times a day and I try to stop. I try to find other things to do but it’s like I cannot have any peace unless I watch porn and masturbate then I am good. I believe, well I know, this has cost me my pastorate and it almost cost me my marriage. About 3 years ago I resigned as pastor and nobody knew why. I was so ashamed that I even left my wife and my children for a year. My wife was a virgin when we got married and I think I have transferred this spirit to her. I asked her to watch porn with me. I asked her to have phone sex with me when I traveled. I baited her into conversations about threesomes and eventually we had one and now I think she struggles with a lesbian spirit because she always wants to have a threesome with a woman. And during sex she only has an orgasm when she calls out a female name or she will have me call out another female’s name we may know. I can see her as we have sex fantasizing about another person as she climax. We have had a threesome with a close friend of ours and she always initiates it. This spirit has overtaken my marriage and I have tried with everything in me to reel it back in and whatever I do fails. It seems like the harder I try the worst it gets. I had a growing church and helped a lot of people walk through the difficult stages of their life but I am living with this dark secret and I could not in good conscious pastor and know I was struggling with sexual perversion so I resigned. I am trying everything to stop with no success. I have read books, blogs. I have prayed and confessed. I tried playing sermons and worship music when the urges come. I have watched your youtube channel and if I may be honest I find myself lusting after you. I think to myself why am I like this? I do not want to be this way. I can help everyone else and help fix everybody else’s problems but when it comes to me I can’t experience the deliverance I preach and minister to others. I know Christ. I know the power of the Holy Spirit. I do not drink or do drugs. I am a person of integrity and influence within my community but I can’t shake this. I said this the thorn in my side but I can’t imagine God allowing this struggle that has the potential to affect and destroy so many be allowed in my life. I take my ministry seriously and the souls He has for me to care after. I would rather die than to not be able to serve God so this is literally killing me.  Thank you for any help or insight you may offer.

CJ 

Dear PASTOR CJ, 

I put emphasis on “Pastor” because the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable until we die! Your letter really tore at my heart. You and your wife are, indeed, in a great deal of bondage and I will not pretend to make light of it. As I sat here praying about your situation and seeking a Word that could start you on the road to recovery, The Holy Spirit whispered this phrase into my ear,

 “Let guilt give way to conviction…”

That phrase illuminated my soul and I felt an immediate release as I received it. You see, that phrase concisely explains the process that I went through when getting delivered from sexual lust and masturbation, during my walk, as a Leader to The Body.

It is the worst kind of pain, when it’s the pain of self-condemnation, and that is what masturbation and porn produce. You are in the most addictive of situations because the very thing that makes you want to stop, also drives you to do it more! That thing is GUILT. Guilt is the emotion that produces remorse, which causes us to change our ways. But in the case of masturbation and porn, guilt only feeds the spirit. Guilt and self-condemnation empower the forces of masturbation and porn, making you want to do it more and more. This is because masturbation and porn are methods of escape – escape from chaos, failure, stress, sickness, disappointment, anger, GUILT… The same negative circumstances that drive any addiction, drive masturbation and porn addictions as well.

The cycle of guilt and release — condemnation and comfort – causes you to feel so hopelessly trapped. It seems to stop is as equally tormenting as it is to continue, but at least in continuing there is “some relief”. This is how it seems anyway, and I know this is hitting home! But the truth is that the pain of continuing is PERMANENT, while the pain of stopping is only temporary. That is a truth that you must CONSTANTLY KEEP BEFORE YOU. You should write that phrase on papers and post them on every wall, window, door and mirror in your home. And post it in your car and office too! You shall know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH shall make you FREE.

You have fallen into a cycle of believing lies, and the worse of those lies is that feeling guilty and self-condemned somehow serves as an act of humility and repentance that will lead to righteousness. Guilt will, to the contrary, UNCONDITIONALLY GUARANTEE that you stay addicted until you breathe your last breath. Guilt is the very opposite of faith, and doubt is the very worst kind of perversion. That is why Messiah says in Matthew 17:17, “O faithless and PERVERSE generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you?…” Doubt and unbelief opens the door for the strongest sexual addictions because doubt is, in and of itself, a strong form of perversion. And what good is our faith, if not for believing that we are JUSTIFIED – no matter what? “For the just shall live by faith…” Is that not what the Word has taught us my dear Brother?

So step one is to demand your soul to receive the TRUTH, the truth that you are justified not by your acts, but instead by your faith in The Risen Savior. Step two is to use that truth to bring subject every false spirit of self-condemnation and guilt that is fostering this addiction. If you are already justified, then there is nothing to feel guilty about. Which means going forward, you will not allow yourself to feel guilty when you watch porn or masturbate or have a threesome or…

WAIT! Am I saying to continue in these things? NO! I am saying that you should live in the freedom of grace and not the imprisonment of condemnation. The stress produced by guilt prevents understanding from coming forth. Therefore, by giving way to guilt, you suppress the wisdom that would yield deliverance. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin, He does not condemn us for it. With conviction comes forgiveness, cleansing andmost importantly, redirection. With guilt comes chains. Once you stop opening yourself up to the enemy’s guilt, you make room for the The Spirit’s conviction.

So my dear brother, make the very best choices that you have the strength to make each day. Plan a day of righteousness and productivity. Don’t plan sinful activities, but if in the midst of trying to live your day for God you fall, don’t let guilt come into your heart. Let guilt give way to conviction.

If you feel overwhelmed, to the extent of insanity, for the desire for porn or masturbation, know that in your flesh, it is a battle that you will never win.  Therefore, give yourself PERMISSION to live in the freedom of grace. Explore how you feel “led” at any given time. Does that mean that you are being “led” correctly? Not necessarily — sometimes demons are in the lead, sometimes the flesh is in the lead and sometimes The Holy Spirit is in the lead… But how will you know what is really in your heart, if you don’t allow it to come to the surface and allow The Spirit of the Living God to expose the dark things of your heart and wash them away. Therefore, live in the NOW of eternity, and Let guilt give way to conviction.

Calmly ask for and receive forgiveness for your short comings, and sit and talk to The Father about these things. You see, if you pray in faith for a desire for righteousness and then just believe for God to answer that prayer, you have to rest in that belief. You can’t fight to live right because then it is by works and by might. Instead, if you evaluate what you desire to do, at all times – without being anxious about if it’s right or wrong — and yet acknowledge God in all of your ways (this is key), it is then that the power of conviction begins to work. Suddenly, you become aware of how wicked your desires are. You will see firsthand how far away you are from righteousness, not just in your acts, but in your very essence. You will then LOSE the desire for what you once thought you could not live without, when you let guilt give way to conviction.

And that Pastor, is what it is really all about. It is not about stopping an act in the flesh, but being transformed at a heart level. Better for a wicked desire to be transformed into a righteous one, than to simply “overcome” and “bury” that desire. What good is using will power to overcome just the act, when your heart is still just as filthy as it always was? So when you become aware and begin to lose the desire, that is when discipline can push you to your goal – when you actually WANT to stop, as opposed to “knowing that you should, but not really wanting to”. Then, that is when you will effectively remind yourself — not out of guilt, but out of your desire to please The Father — that the pain of continuing is PERMANENT, while the pain of stopping is only temporary...

When you finally let guilt give way to conviction.”

And that is the Word of The LORD!

In the Power of His Love,

Prophetess Laneen “Dr. Intimacy” Haniah

Be blessed and be sure to order both of my books. You and your wife read them together. It will help you tremendously, but especially “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book.” You can order them on my website, www.drintimacy.com

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Worship from a Holistic Perspective

Crushing the bonds of sexual perversion and healing the bonds of heart-2-heart love & intimacy.

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2014 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book 2013 Edition, It’s Finally Here!!!

The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book 2013 front cover

The first edition of this book, published in 2004, has been read all over the world in countries such as Nigeria, London, Canada, Australia and Germany. The most unique book ever of its kind; it delves deeply into the subject matter of God-designed sexuality, sexual sin and how sex is relative to our worship of God. Thousands of church leaders and lay people have received help in getting understanding and true deliverance concerning issues of sexual perversion. Many more, including those outside of the church, have been touched and encouraged by Laneen’s transparency in sharing her powerful testimony.

The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Reference Book, 2013 Edition includes significant enhancements. Enjoy a dedicated chapter on “sex demons”, also referred to as incubus. There is a new chapter for married couples. Along with these additions, you will find 11 different spirits of sexual perversion discussed in deep and insightful detail, each in its own designated chapter. Also, enjoy powerful application revelations in a section entitled “Insights from Dr. Intimacy”. What you can count on that has not changed is Dr. Intimacy’s heart felt transparency and compassion, which encourages you every step of the way as you read God’s Handbook on Sex Education — The Encyclopedia of Christian Sexuality! Prophetess Laneen Haniah, a prolific author and lecturer better known as “Dr. Intimacy”, gives an enlightening look into the naked truth about sex, intimacy and worship from a holistic perspective.

A COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING SEXUALITY, INTIMACY WITH GOD AND THE ENEMY’S DEVICES OF SEXUAL PERVERSION!

•God’s purpose for sex

• Sexual blood covenants

• Satan’s true motive for perversion

• Intimacy guidelines for marriage

• Seeing perversion when it’s not physically present

• Recognizing perversion in the church

• 12 Steps to deliverance

• Knowing how to tell when you’re free

• Fornication

• Masturbation

• Adultery

• Incest

• Homosexuality

• Intersexuals

• Prostitution

• Pornography

• Molestation

• Bestiality

• Sexual Lust

• Incubus

• Promiscuity

Order now on www.DrIntimacy.com , also available on amazon.com

The Devil Wants to Steal Your Worship!

the devil

The two foundational and most critical revelations that I teach are:

1) Yahweh wants to share spiritual intimacy with us in the same way He designed for couples to experience physical intimacy in marriage;

2) The devil’s only agenda in sexual perversion is to steal your worship!

If you get a firm and insightful understanding of these two important truths, your battle with sexual perversion is already half over. So let’s explore the real reason satan is so after your worship, by taking a look at some scriptures in Job.

8“Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?”  9Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for nothing? 10Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 11But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!” (Job 1: 8-11, NKJV)”

I have heard this text preached many times and in many ways, but I never heard it presented the way the Holy Spirit showed it to me one day, as I was preparing for a conference. He opened up the eyes of my understanding so I could see that this entire story is really about worship. The way the text is translated makes it appear as if The LORD invited satan to attack Job, but this was actually not the case. The context clues of Job chapter 1 make it apparent that the LORD and satan were engaged in a dialogue about satan’s activity on the earth. As satan was being true to his nature, probably bringing heinous accusations against the earth  and boasting about the legal right he had to cause destruction due to people’s sins; Yahweh responded by defending His creation through the example of Job and pointed out to the accuser that His Righteousness was still exalted on the earth. It seems that the conversation probably was something to this effect.

So looking at verse 8 where it reads, “have you considered”, in a different translation of the Hebrew that phrase could mean “have you violently laid a hand upon”. Then when you look at the word “fear” in that same verse that word can also be translated “worship”. So if we read the text again with these different translated meanings, it would read as follows: “’Then the Lord said to satan ‘have you violently laid a hand upon my servant job, there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who worships me and shuns evil?’” This was a taunting dialogue for the enemy because the point that God was making, which is made clear through examining satan’s response, is that Job was under divine protection due to his lifestyle of consistent worship and righteousness.

In chapter 1, The Father lifts His divine protection from Job’s life and gives the enemy liberty to afflict all that he owns. Satan destroys everything in Job’s life, but is not permitted to afflict Job’s physical body. Satan then returns to converse with God and this is what is said in chapter 2:3-5 (using revealed translation) 3Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you violently laid a hand upon My servant Job, there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who worships God and shuns evil? And still he holds fast to his integrity, although you incited Me against him, to destroy him without cause.” 4So Satan answered the Lord and said, “Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life. 5But stretch out Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will surely curse You to Your face!”

For many years the book of Job disturbed me because of this phrase in verse 3, “although you incited Me against him, to destroy him without cause”. I asked myself, “Why would Yahweh deliberately stir up satan’s wrath against a blameless and upright man?” It was in searching for an answer to this question that the revelation was made clear. What The God of All Wisdom was really saying is, “You dared me to challenge the worship of Job, my servant. You challenged me to prove to you satan that his intimacy with me means more than all that he has! You provoked me to prove to you that I can allow you to take away all that I have given him and he will still worship me!”

When the Holy Spirit showed me this, I was blown away. Job had experienced the richness of worship and intimacy with The Creator and because of that nothing else mattered to him. Although his possessions were valuable, HIS WORSHIP WAS PRICELESS. That is why even when his wife came against him, he still would not curse God; when Job’s marital intimacy stopped, he still had his worship intimacy with Yahweh. What satan was really after was not Job’s possessions. Satan has access to every earthly possession and wealth imaginable. What he wanted was Job’s worship. He despised, with green envy, the intimacy between Job and the LORD.

Look at all that the enemy did to Job, and yet Job never cursed – or attempted to break his covenant – with The Father. The devil knows this to be the nature of the heart of all TRUE worshippers. Once satan loses you to intimacy with Your Creator, it is unlikely that he will ever retrieve you! He doesn’t care if you have a gift; or work in ministry; or sow large offerings; or fast and pray for long periods in pursuit of selfish ambitions, but he never wants you to experience the fullness of worship and intimacy!  

This is why he so desperately wants to keep you locked into sexual perversion. If you win the battle over sexual sin, you will be transformed into a beautiful and holy vessel of pure worship. And the enemy knows that in that kind of pure worship, there is the release of everything else that Yahweh has for you. Everything is hidden in your intimacy with Him. Satan wants to steal your worship. He wants to steal your blessing, he wants to steal your destiny. In Job 29 we see an even clearer picture of what Job’s worship gave birth to in his life:

2“Oh, that I were as in months past, As in the days when God watched over me; 3When His lamp shone upon my head, And when by His light I walked through darkness; 4Just as I was in the days of my prime, When the friendly counsel of God was over my tent; 5When the Almighty was yet with me, When my children were around me; 6When my steps were bathed with cream, And the rock poured out rivers of oil for me!”

In these verses, as Job reminisces on the way life was before his affliction, notice that he does not mention his possessions. He paints a picture of divine protection, divine favor, divine guidance, divine prosperity, divine wisdom, divine fellowship, divine multiplication, divine ease of living, and a consistent flow of The Anointing! Wow, WOW, W-O-W!!!

There is so much more than just your sexual purity that the enemy wants to take away from you when he sets himself to afflict you with sexual perversion. What he is really after is your worship because all of the blessings that Job enjoyed are connected to your worship. Furthermore, worship is required for The Anointing to flow in your life. So the very next time you are tempted to masturbate, have illicit sex, watch porn, cheat on your spouse, lay with the same sex, be sexually inappropriate with a relative, sell your body for sex, violate a child, molest an animal or lust in your heart – please hear these words ringing loudly in your spirit: THE DEVIL WANTS TO STEAL YOUR WORSHIP! As a matter of fact, say it out loud to yourself three times as loud as you can:

THE DEVIL WANTS TO STEAL MY WORSHIP!

THE DEVIL WANTS TO STEAL MY WORSHIP!

THE DEVIL WANTS TO STEAL MY WORSHIP!

And then, DON’T LET HIM!!!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Breaking the bonds of sexual perversion ~ Healing the bonds of heart-2-heart intimacy

www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2013 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Is Sexual Sin Caused by a Spirit?

While visiting another blog that addresses homosexuality amongst “so-called believers” (that is the author’s sentiment, not necessarily mine); I was struck by a statement that the author made. He was debating the existence of “the spirit of homosexuality”, claiming that people used the idea of demonic possession as an excuse to continue on in sin.  In his opinion, people sin by choice alone, influenced solely by their own sin nature and the spirit of lust. He was particularly disturbed that he had observed Pastor Benny Hinn “casting out” a spirit of homosexuality. And it may be good to mention that the gentleman that authored the article, formerly lived as a homosexual and has since dedicated himself to being a voice against it. Needless to say, he is very passionate about what he shares. His view is simply this, “There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”  

I thought his article brought up a very good question: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

I tend to agree with pastor Benny on this point. I do believe there is a spirit of homosexuality. As a matter of fact, I believe that nearly every sinful or demonic act is influenced by a particular type of demonic spirit. The author of the aforementioned article, as well as many other people, focus too greatly on how demons are named in the bible. When the truth of the matter is, the names of demons are not all that significant; it is their function and their type that matters. So you may not always see demons “named” in the Bible, but their functions and types are clearly outlined. In other words, their type is made plain by what they do; the fruit they produce in the life of the person they are affecting.

How often did we see YHshua (Jesus) cast demons out of people to heal them of an illness? “When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick.”  Mat 8:16, NKJV

Even in the case of Mary Magdalene, she was delivered from prostitution by the casting out of 7 demons. Now when He rose early on the first day of the week, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom He had cast seven demons.” Mark 7:9, NKJV (Her prostitution is “implied” in other scriptures. She was referred to specifically as “an especially wicked sinner”.)

In actuality,  the bible very seldom identified demonic spirits by a name.  Evil spirits were identified as being – evil, wicked, unclean, perverse and so on – but seldom by an actual distinct name.  And Jesus summoned to Him His twelve disciples and gave them power and authority over unclean spirits, to drive them out, and to cure all kinds of disease and all kinds of weakness and infirmity.” Mat 10:1, AMP

Ok… So if there is now a clear understanding that demons are acknowledged, but not necessarily named, in scripture – let’s deal with the next point:“There is  no spirit of heterosexuality and thus no spirit of homosexuality.”

This statement actually made me laugh. It was borderline ridiculous, in my opinion. We do not need different spirits or “type spirits” of righteousness; such as a “spirit of heterosexuality” (if heterosexuality is being implied to be a good thing in this instance, within the confines of a marriage). We don’t need a “spirit of kindness”, “spirit of truth”, “spirit of sobriety”, etc.  In order to live righteously, there is only need of One Spirit and that is, The Holy Spirit. All righteous living is a result of the Spirit of  YHWH God at work in our lives. He is the Spirit of Truth, Spirit of Love, Spirit of Obedience… He is the very source of all that is good and right; including pure, loving intimacy between a husband and wife (heterosexuality).

In terms of heterosexual sin, sex taking place outside of the confines of marriage, that influence would be typed as a “spirit of fornication”. But in essence at the end of the day, all sexual sin – all sin of any type for that matter – is influenced by  “the spirit of lust”. The term “spirit of lust” is actually the very definition of  ‘satan’. So all sin is influenced by the spirit of satan, and likewise all righteousness is influenced by “the Spirit of YHWH God”! But the Spirit of YHWH God is omni-present because He can be everywhere, and in everyone all at once. The spirit of satan is not so. He and his cohorts are limited to influencing or indwelling only one person at a time. So satan sends out his workers like soldiers, in groups specifically assigned and trained to do (or cause) specific acts of disobedience and/or types of oppression.

So the question is: Is sexual sin caused by a spirit?

The answer is: Yes and No! 

Just as the presence of the Holy Spirit can cause you to live righteously, the presence of a “Helly” spirit can cause you to live wickedly. I believe that ignorance concerning the workings of demonic spirits in our lives causes so many Christians to live a defeated life. Identifying an evil spirit does not give us an excuse to sin; it gives us ammunition to stop sinning! Naming a spirit according to its type, is just a way of specifying how the spirit of satan is working in your life more precisely. This is actually very empowering, giving insight into what weaknesses the enemy takes advantage of, to interfere with the abundance of our lives – spirit, soul and body! After all, YHshua never cast satan out of anyone, he always cast out demons. Nor does scripture say he cast “lust” out of Mary Magdalene. It says he cast out seven demons.

My only precaution on the ‘no’ side of my answer would be using the word “cause”, since you can only be “influenced” to sin, instead of forced. We all get to choose our own path and which spirit’s influence we give in to (unless one is truly “possessed” from childhood – but that’s another topic!) So although different spirits of evil may be the cause of sin in your life, it is because of your own choice that such sin is actually manifested.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2012 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright and legal notices on this page.

Dr. Intimacy on YouTube

Hi I am really excited to give you this quick update on my new YouTube Channel. I will be answering questions from the blog on the channel, doing Bible studies and posting ministry updates. Check it out and give me your feedback. I would love your advice on how to shape the channel. As of 11/23/2011 there are 7 videos on the channel. Please “like” the videos and share the links on FB and PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! It means so much to me to read your thoughts and encouraging comments!

http://www.youtube.com/user/DrIntimacy?feature=mhee

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

drintimacy@drintimacy.com  

 

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Understanding Intimacy Part 1: Why Did God Create Sexual Intimacy?

Anything you don’t understand, you are bound to abuse. That is why scripture admonishes us in Proverbs 4:7 to get understanding in all that we get; for wisdom truly is the principle thing. Before you can can really grasp anything else I write about on this blog, you are going to have to get a good grasp on the core foundational revelation upon which this whole ministry was built.  I will be sharing this revelations with you in the “Understanding Intimacy Series” which will be contained in a number of posts. If you plan on being a regular follower of this blog and really want a deeper understanding of wholesome intimacy and deliverance from sexual perversion, study this series carefully. All of the information in this series is taken directly from my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook: Updated 2012 Edition which can be ordered at www.drintimacy.com” To find all post in this series visit The Understanding Intimacy Series – All Post.

I believe that the three greatest weaknesses of humanity in the flesh are: 1) The need to eat; 2) The need to sleep; and 3) The urge to have sex. I note these three needs to emphasize how the spirits of sexual perversion work. They take advantage of one of the greatest weaknesses of the flesh – our God-given desire to have sex.

God told man and woman in the book of Genesis to, “…Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth…(Gen 1:28)” There is of course spiritual significance to what God said to them on that day, but there is also natural, practical significance. In laymen’s terms God was basically saying, “I command you to have sex and lots of it!” This may be a little hard to swallow because of our perception of sex. We generally think of sex as something forbidden, naughty or perverse. Let us consider it practically though.

In order  for them to multiply (in its most literal sense meaning to have children) they would have to engage in intercourse to afford conception an opportunity. Then in order to replenish the earth, which is a tall order to fill, they would have to engage in intercourse often so that they might improve the likelihood of frequent conception. Another point to consider is the fact that when God gave this command people did not wear clothing. All of us who are, or once were, sexually active would probably agree that the absence of clothing often times stirs sexual desire. This is especially true if you are in a relationship with someone who you are highly attracted to and in love with. There is no reason to believe there were any exceptions to this basic instinct at the dawn of creation. Yahweh is a very deliberate God and all of this was by no means a coincidence! Thus, the truth of the matter is that God created us to frequently engage in and enjoy sexual intimacy.

What we have to realize is that because man was created in the image and likeness of the Lord God Almighty (Gen 1:26), humanity was created in Holy Perfection. Everything about man (and woman) was good and pure at the time of creation, including the act of sex. But once sin entered into the earth, it perverted everything God had created on the earth. How did sin enter into all of creation on earth considering that humanity alone committed sin? This is because all of creation on earth was under man’s dominion.

Once humanity became corrupt, all that we had dominion over became corrupt along with us. Sin had entered into man and corrupted us in our entirety. The corruption of sin caused us to be separated from Elohim the Creator and without that connection to God, all of creation and everything about it became perverse and evil. That is one of the reasons why David says in the book of Psalms, “I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. (Ps 51:5, KJV)” The act of sex is just another part of what was perverted by sin at the fall of humanity. So now we understand that God actually ordained sexual intimacy and that sex is not bad, but we still need to understand why Yahweh implemented sexual intimacy as a part of the normal routine of humanity.

First off, it is important to understand that everything that exists in the natural world exists first in the spiritual world. The Bible teaches us that God is a Spirit and indicates that His Kingdom is a spiritual one (John 4:24; 14:17; Mat 12:28, 16:26). The earth and all it entails was created to be a natural and physical emulation of God’s spiritual Kingdom. That is why nature was made with such splendor and glorious detail, such precision and perfection. God has given us everything in the natural to help us understand something about His Kingdom and the spirit realm, which is the realm of eternity and is also where the true existence of each and every one of us lives. As a part of this natural representation of Him and His Kingdom, God implemented sexual intimacy in marriage, between man and woman to teach humanity something about the spirit realm. More specifically as far as sex and marriage is concerned, it is to teach us about our relationship with Him.

Through study and revelation of the scriptures we learn that sexual intimacy in the natural is equivalent to worship in the spirit. We can see this by looking at some scriptures in the third chapter of Jeremiah. (Keep in mind that ‘Israel’ and ‘Judah’ were used as names for the collective chosen nation of (Yahweh/God in the Old Testament). “6…Have you seen what fickle Israel does? Like a wife who commits adultery, Israel has worshiped other gods7…And though her faithless sister Judah saw this, 8 she paid no attention. She saw that I had divorced faithless Israel and sent her away. But now Judah, too, has left me and given herself to prostitution.

Scriptures similar to these, referring to idol worship as adultery or some other type of illicit sexual act, can be found all throughout the books of the prophets. In both the Old and New Testament of the Bible the people of God are commonly referred to as “wife” or “bride” (Isa 62:5, Jer 2:2, 2 Cor 11:2, Eph 5:23).Marriage is clearly a symbolic picture of our relationship with God, and theBible makes a strong and clear comparison between sex and worship. Therefore, there is no doubt that sexual intimacy in the natural is equivalent to worship in the spirit or “spiritual intimacy”.

In certain scriptures, we can even see a strong parallel between Adam’s relationship to Eve and our relationship to God, before sin entered in. In Genesis 2:22-24 it reads, 22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. 24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (NLT)” Then if we take a look at Ephesians 1:4 it reads, 4Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love. (AMP)”

While restraining myself from writing an entire book expounding upon the depth of revelation hidden in these two scriptures, I just want to point out a couple of nuggets. The woman — the wife — was taken out of the man. We the bride of Christ, were taken out of Him. The woman was made in the man’s own likeness. We were made in the likeness of God. The woman was made just for the man and set apart just for him.  In the same way, we were made just for The LORD and set apart just for Him. Lastly, the man leaves his mother and father to unite with his wife and become one flesh with her. Likewise Yeshua (Jesus) left His Father to unite with us, His bride, and he became flesh with us!

Wow, I get excited every time I read that to know that God wants to be that intimate with us! And this is the foundation upon which I minister on sex, intimacy and relationships. There are four things about the spirit realm, God’s Kingdom and our relationship with Him that we can learn through marital relations and sexual intimacy. We will explore those four things over the next 4 posts in this series. Check back for part 2 and don’t miss a thang!

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.


The Guilt Phenomenon of Pedophilia

Letter from my Advice Page

Good Morning,

I am ashamed of what I am about to write and I have been ashamed for years. I am at a point in my life where I want a real and honest relationship with God, but things that happened in my life makes me feel like I am not qualified. Here is my story:

When I was 7 years old my half-brother told me he wanted to show me what my father does to his mother. I let him pull down my panties and mess with my private parts. I never told my mother until months later when she caught me kissing my pillow and I was teaching my younger cousin how to kiss the pillow to at seven years old, and that was sad. My mother talked to me and told me never to let anyone touch me like that again. But sexual perversion didn’t stop there. Still at seven years old one night my mother was asleep and I was up front watching Cinemax at 12am when a sexual movie came on and I watched the whole thing. From then I had to watch them all the time and I began touching myself. Then the worst thing happened; my cousin that I was so close with (we were like a couple of months apart and she was like my best friends) started watching them together and started playing that way with each other. Then I introduced my other to it who was 5 years younger than me. When I got about 13 and started to know who God was I stopped everything all together — watching those nasty shows and hurting my two girl cousin.

I hated myself and I wanted to die everyday but God would not kill me and I don’t know why. I allowed what happened to me to affect my younger cousins. I ask God why all the time. Now to this present day my cousin that is a couple of months younger than me thinks she want to date girls and my cousin 5 years younger than me started having sex at 14 years old. I blame myself for their messed up lives. As for me, I am a regular going to church person who loves the Lord so much. I have been successful in my life, but this one thing in my life keeps me so in bondage: I can’t tell you enough. I have been asking God that he take that memory away from my cousins’ minds my whole life. We never talk about it. I just don’t know how to truly walk in freedom. Before I get married and have children I want this spirit of sexual perversion gone from my life. I pray for my cousins because it is all my fault. Where do I start for my deliverance?

Please help me, 

Lady

Dear Lady,

Well first let me say that your deliverance has already begun! Just in your confession on this blog your deliverance has already begun. Confession is always the first step to deliverance. There are three types of confession, most people don’t know this: 1) there is confession acknowledgement – this is you confessing to yourself. 2) there is confession admittance – this is you confessing to God, and 3) there is confession exposure – this is you confessing to other people. You have implemented all three steps of confession.

You have also begun the process of discovery. Discovery is when you explore your past to discover where the doors of perversion opened up. This process is usually lengthy because in most cases there are many paths that led to perversion. But you have made a great start talking about what your half-brother did to you and how you began watching pornography.

There are 12 steps to deliverance as the Holy Spirit revealed it to me. You have already implemented at least 4 of the 12. However, you are falling way short on forgiveness. You have not forgiven yourself! There will never be deliverance without forgiveness for first yourself and second for those that have hurt you. The whole point of discovery is to understand why you did what you did and close those doors forever – it’s not to beat yourself down with shame and condemnation or hold your victimizers hostage.

You are experiencing what I call the “guilt phenomenon” that happens when a person commits an act of pedophilia. To take away a child’s sexual innocence is the greatest offense that once could ever commit. People don’t really understand why this is since most people don’t understand the true power and spiritual significance of sex. But the deep spiritual knowing that a child has been tampered with and has lost something that can never again be found — that deep spiritual knowing which cannot always be comprehended in the forefront of one’s intellectual mind — is what causes that unbearable weight of guilt and shame that you are now experiencing.

The reason that I call it a phenomenon is simply because guilt imprisons a soul; and within the prison of guilt the Loving touch of God is not allowed to enter in to administer healing and wholeness. A sense of shame usually perpetuates the onset of perversion and molestation to begin with. Why? Because the power of sexual pleasure alleviates stress and pain and shame, even if just for a few moments. Sexual pleasure medicates the soul for a few precious moments of escape from the tormenting pain of shame and stress. pedophilia is common when you yourself have experienced pain, guilt and shame because such events made you feel helpless and to subject another child to the same sense of helplessness somehow makes you feel more normal – “That wasn’t bad what happened to me, this is just what people do. See, I’m doing it too?!”

Yet here is where it really becomes a phenomenon: in most cases the act of pedophilia although bringing relief initially, afterward only perpetuates the guilt and causes the committer to need to do it again and again for continual relief. The committer feels worse after each act and thus more compelled to do it again. Thus you have the statistics in society today that says a pedophile cannot be rehabilitated. It is unfortunate that law enforcement and the medical community will not acknowledge the spiritual root of pedophilia so that people can get help! They can be rehabilitated if only they can forgive themselves and get healed.

Having said all of that Lady, I may have made you feel worse than better since you have probably never looked at yourself as a pedophile. But take courage my sister. Jesus is the name above every name, label and title. You are the righteousness of God through Christ and you are Holy and Blameless in His eyes according to the book of Ephesians Chapter 1. Now for your own deliverance and for the safety of your children to come – YOU MUST FORGIVE YOURSELF!!! Don’t stay locked up in the prison of guilt that causes most committers of pedophilia to be lifelong repeat offenders, and don’t risk passing this spirit onto your children.

What happened was not your fault sis. You were a victim who then victimized. God has forgiven you and wants to restore your life. As far as your cousins, He can and will get the glory out of their lives. Just continue to pray with them. Similar things happened to me when I was a child and I became very promiscuous too. But now I use my testimony of deliverance and restoration to set people free! Hallelujah!!! I am so glad for every violation that happened to me because now I can offer people hope and encouragement. You and your cousins will one day be able to do the same.

Lastly Lady I want to say this. I think it is critically important that you and your three cousins get together one day and have a heart-to-heart talk about your past together. Then I think it would be great if the three of you would each get a copy of my book “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook” and read through it together. You can all sponsor each other in deliverance. I would even be willing to facilitate a session with you all once on the phone. They need to understand why they are the way that they are and you can help them. So if you want to take me up on my offer let me know. I’d be glad to help.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

Are You a Christian Who Masturbates?

OK so I had to break the ice on this one with the comedic relief of the image above because let’s face it… talks about masturbation get most Christians “hot under the collar”. It’s on everyone’s mind (… and on most people’s hands too… er… uh… every pun intended there, lol.) You are far from the only one that has questions about this. So go ahead and get an alias account name so you can post an honest answer and let’s start blogging! (Don’t worry about being required to leave your email address when you post a comment because the other bloggers can’t see it. It is only requested to verify that you are a valid blogger and not a spamware program leaving automated messages.)

For those of you who don’t know, the main reason that I created this blog is to educate people about the spirits of sexual perversion and the adverse effects that they have on our lives, as well as how to get delivered from these spirits so that we can live in freedom and experience success. If you want to know why this is my passion check out the “Who is Dr. Intimacy” page, or even better yet order my book “STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons”.

At any rate, in an attempt to ensure that I am not  just rambling on about the things I deem important, I would like to post questions and evaluate reader feedback. This will help me more accurately address your specific interests and needs. I know sexual sin is an embarrassing topic to speak on, but how will you get help if you don’t start seeking it?  If you are worried about your image, like I said, create a new account with a screen name and e-mail address that no one will recognize because it is time to start dealing with our issues! I’m here to help and talking about masturbation is a good place to start. So...how about it:

Are you a Christian who masturbates? Why or why not? Do you have any specific Bible references against or in support of masturbation? Do you have specific experiences to share? Please enlighten us!

Comments have been closed on this post. Please refer to the post “Is Masturbation in the Bible As a Sin?” to make comments. Also check out my YouTube video about this.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

When a Spouse Cheats, Is the Other Spouse to Blame?

I received a post today from a lady that said, “I by no means was the wife that I was supposed to be but I still to this day don’t believe that I deserved to be cheated on.” That causes me to pose a question: When a husband or wife cheats, is the other spouse to blame? Are they to blame completely in some cases? Only to some degree in some cases? Or never in any case? I don’t know of any place I can go in scripture off-hand to support an opinion to one extent or the other but I do know this, marriage is a partnership and cheating doesn’t  “just happen”.

Now as far as the word “blame” goes, that is a trick question that I asked because I don’t believe that either spouse is to “blame”. Blame is irrelevant in the case of adultery. When infidelity takes place, angry accusations and blame only veil the underlying causes. The act of adultery is not nearly as relevant as the factors that led to it. Establishing who should carry the blame will not bring healing. Discovering how the door for infidelity was opened in the marriage can give the insight needed to repair the marriage and “adultery proof” it for the future.

This has been a “hot-button” issue, especially for women that  have been on the receiving end of adulterous affairs. But I often see a lot of deflection in the angry comments of scorned women. I had been in more affairs than I care to mention and although I am remorseful I went down that road in the past, I am grateful for the insights I gained. Where cheating is concerned, I find that both cheating husbands and cheating wives have told strikingly similar stories about the circumstances that existed in the  home before the affair occurred. Based on what I understand about the sacrifice marriage requires, my counseling sessions and the failures of my own past: my position is that both spouses are responsible for the infidelity no matter which spouse it is that actually does the deed.

Let me know what you think about this and reference scriptures or experiences that you are familiar with if you can.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

drintimacy@drintimacy.com                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.

STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons

STDs 2013 4I want to school you on STDs – no, not “sexually transmitted diseases”. I’m talking about spiritual STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons! Did you know that demonic spirits can be transferred to you during sex and/or sexual activity? Did you ever notice how people change once they begin to have sex? You probably have taken note of it in a friend or relative in the past, but never equated it to sexual activity. Just think about it, your cousin Quan’teeka starts dating Bone Thug from the block and after a couple of weeks you say to her,“Girl, you’ve changed.” Or maybe even in your own life, you took on a new love and your friends and family kept telling you that you changed, even though you couldn’t see the changes!

You probably relate to what I am saying, but probably have always equated such changes just to the new relationship itself and not the reality of STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons. Every demon has a nature and specific corresponding characteristics. That is why groups of people who have no connection to each other but that are infested with the same type of demonic spirit, behave in very similar ways. We call them “stereotypes” but they are nothing less than “familiar spirits” that shape the character and personality of those that they influence. Hmmm… that’s something to think about, isn’t it?

When two people have sex, those two people become one. The same way that the physical bodies of the man and woman lock together and become one interlocked unit, so do their soul and spirit bodies. Every human being consists of three distinct bodies — spirit, soul and flesh – that function in unity with one another, as one unit. Each of those bodies operate in a different realm and each impacts the interactions of your entire human experience. Sexual activity causes two people to connect and become one in all three realms, thus allowing for the transmission of demonic spirits from one person to the other – the same way that sexual activity allows for the transmission of venereal diseases, such as chlamydia, herpes and HIV, from one person to another.

What I am trying to get you to understand is that those changes that take place in your life after you get into a sexual relationship with someone are not a coincidence! They are a direct result of sexually transmitted demons. Have you ever done or said something that you found very uncharacteristic for yourself and thought, “Where in the world did that come from?”This happens as a result of different demonic spirits that  you pick up, usually through sex. The unfortunate thing about it is that most people are completely oblivious to the reality of spiritual STDs, and even once they do become aware of them; it is often too little, too late.

You may think that you can pick up a sexually transmitted demon and just go to the spiritual free clinic (church), and get a dose of spiritual antibiotics (prayer) and go on about your business, unaffected by what you’ve done. But this is not so. Just as there are some sexually transmitted diseases that there are no cure for, there are some sexually transmitted demons that will stay with you indefinitely. Some venereal diseases cause permanent damage to the body such as impotence, erectile dysfunction, uterine pain, cervical and prostate cancer and worst of all – sterility (not being able to produce offspring)! Sexually transmitted demons can have the same impact on your destiny and purpose in the spirit realm!!!

I really want you to think about this carefully. We often take sex so frivolously, regarding it as just a physical act. But I assure you that sex is much more spiritual than it is physical and even if you can use a condom to prevent the transmission of natural STDs, there is no condom to protect yourself from the transmission of spiritual STDs. Abstinence is the only way – preserving sex for the confines of Holy Matrimony.

If you want to know more about sexually transmitted demons, you need to pick up my book. It is entitled, “STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons”. Find out how to buy it on this page:  STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons, 2013 Edition.

In the Power of Love,

Dr. Intimacy

Prolific Author and Speaker Specializing in Sex, Intimacy and Relationships from a Holistic Perspective – Spirit, Soul & Body

http://www.drintimacy.com

Copyright © 2011 by Laneen A. Haniah “Dr. Intimacy”. All rights reserved. Please see full copyright notice on front page for more info.